Navigating friendships in college can be very challenging because college is a time when you come into your own and realize who you are.
When you are constantly meeting new people and forming connections, relationships tend to develop quickly since you are in such close proximity to everyone. However, this also leads to friendships fizzling out, and it is hard to know when a friendship is actually over.Â
The first sign is when you feel like you are putting more effort into it than the other person. This is tough to navigate, as people lead busy lives and there is a lot of room for miscommunication when life gets chaotic. However, being busy is not an excuse to disregard your friendships.
Every relationship needs time in order to maintain itself and grow. So, if you feel like you are prioritizing someone and changing your schedule to hang out with them, and it is never reciprocated, it might be worth looking more deeply into your friendship and evaluating how genuine it is.
Not showing up for your accomplishments and milestones is another red flag. Whether it is birthdays or acing a test you were nervous about, these are things that matter and should be celebrated.
If you feel like you are getting met with negativity or indifference every time you share something positive about your life, that is not a friend who wants to celebrate you. You deserve recognition from the people in your life.
On a personal level, I recently had a friend not show up to my birthday party and give me no reason or explanation as to why. We had texted hours before about my party, and she had conveyed that she was excited for it, but when the time came, she decided not to show.
When these things happen, it can be easy to get in your head and wonder what it is about you that is making people behave weirdly. However, it is important to recognize that sometimes, it has nothing to do with you. You cannot control other people’s actions, only how you react to them. It is important to save your energy for the people who pour into you as much as you pour into them.
Finally, if your friend is repeatedly hurting you or making the same mistake that they promised they wouldn’t make again, it is definitely time to let that person go. Toxic friendships are very draining, and they aren’t talked about often enough.
Many people, including myself, tend to hold on to toxic friendships just because the length of the friendship gives you a sense of familiarity. However, time is not a good enough reason to keep someone who is draining you in your life. This can be a tough lesson to learn, and it can be hard to lose a part of your support system. However, it is important to learn earlier rather than later.
Friendship breakups can be brutal, especially in college. But it is important to recognize when to walk away and when you deserve better.