Most of us enter college thinking that we’re about to embark on the best years of our lives, and for most people, starting this new journey is the best thing to happen to them. But for some, the transition can expose new emotions and evoke fears they’ve never felt before.
Say one night, you’re with your best friend, and all of a sudden her demeanor has completely changed all due to an uploaded assignment or test grade. Her hands shake, her breathing becomes short, her face turns white and suddenly, she can’t move. Would you know what to do if you found your friend in this state?
For some, these can be some of the numerous things that happen when you have anxiety. Anxiety is one of the most common mental health issues experienced by college students – translated, there’s a chance you may know someone facing these kinds of reactions on a frequent basis.
No matter how much you may love someone with anxiety, it’s hard to really know how they’re feeling if you’re not in their shoes. Whether your roommate has frequent panic attacks, or your brother gets uncontrollably anxious over things that might seem trivial to you, we’re here to help. These little things might seem simple, but they can make even daily activities so much easier for your loved one.
1. Ask them about the disorder
It may seem obvious, but showing you’re interested in learning about what they’re going through can really make an impact. Anxiety differs from person to person, and different things might make different people feel especially anxious. Learn about those things, and try to help them avoid those triggers as much as possible.
2. Give them a distraction
If you know parties and big crowds make them uncomfortable and overheard their roommate talk about the party they want to throw next week, find out when it is, and plan a night in at your place. Get dinner, craft, watch movies, anything. The key is to try to avoid plans that will leave a lot of time to check their phones. Try not to risk your friend seeing the crazy amount of Snapchats from the party.
3. Try to give them warning when plans are about to change
Surprises can really throw typically anxious people a curve. While we know things can change super last-minute, try to give them as much warning as possible when having to make these changes.
4. Try to not get frustrated
Sometimes the fears that people with anxiety have may seem a bit irrational. In most cases, these people already know this. There’s often a chemical imbalance in their brain, meaning they can’t necessarily control their fears on their own. You may think they can tell themselves to stop fearing something, but that’s not necessarily something that will be accomplished in a short time period. It will definitely take time, but your patience and understanding will help to encourage them to get help if they are not currently receiving it.
5. Give them space when they need it
Some people may not necessarily want to be comforted every time they have a panic attack. From personal experience, certain episodes of fear might be more intense than others, or some might be in less than ideal settings. It’s common for these people to feel a bit embarrassed after an episode. While it’s important to make sure they know it’s nothing to be embarrassed about, they may not necessarily want any company. Make sure they understand that they can come to you when they’re ready – give them the space they need. They’ll appreciate the gesture more than you’ll know.
6. Help them organize their thoughts
Especially in college, it seems as if our thoughts and overthinking them might just consume everything we do. The assignments never stop, and it’s easy for any student to fall behind within a matter of days. Helping your loved one organize what assignments they have coming up can play a huge role in helping to manage their anxiety. Making a list and helping them prioritize what needs done first and which items they can finish quickly can really help to make the endless to-do lists seem manageable.
7. Remind them that the anxiety is self-centered but taking time to care for themselves is not
For some, they might feel bad trying to get help for themselves. They may play the, “someone else has it worse,” card. It’s so crucial to remind them that getting help for themselves if they realize they are unhappy is NEVER selfish. It’s admirable, it’s strong and it’s brave. Remind them that they deserve the help, and just because another person may have it worse, does not mean that they should not take the time to work on their own happiness.
8. Hold them when they need it
Sometimes there might not be much you can do to help ease their fears. Even if your friend is seeing a doctor and taking medication to treat their anxiety, things might still get to them. You might not always be able to help them avoid it. The best thing you can do is hold them when they need it and simply be with them. Letting them know that someone cares for them unconditionally can be just as helpful as anything else.
Thankfully, anxiety is very treatable. But it can feel impossible without the support from loved ones. It’s important to remember that there are various different types of anxiety, and people deal with them and experience them differently.
If you or someone you love are dealing with anxiety, please head to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America to seek help.