With the season of love quickly approaching, everyone starts to stress about finding a Valentine. It is understandable- spending Valentine’s Day alone is not for the weak.’
However, with all the pressure of finding a partner to spend the holiday with, we forget to give love where it is most needed: to yourself.
So what is the best way to find your Valentine? Stop looking.
I know, I know, not what you wanted to hear. But it is the truth.
The more we seek love externally, the less we give it internally. We can not search for love from others if we give none to ourselves. When you seek romance without confidence you attract the wrong people.
The first step in finding your Valentine is recognizing that you can be your own.
When you pour love into yourself, you gain confidence. Taking small acts of self-care every day truly changes your mindset.
When you have confidence, you recognize self-worth.
Think about the different types of people you may attract depending on your state of mind. Desperately searching for love with low self-confidence means a low sense of self-worth, which ultimately means your standards are tunneling.
Now compare that to the highest version of yourself, not needing validation from others. The version of you that knows who you are and is not willing to lower your standards for anyone.
Because in the end, you know you can love yourself better than anyone can. So why lower your bar?
If you need some incentive, if the idea of loving yourself is not enough, think about how high your vibrations will be.
When you are giving off confident, bad bitch vibes, you are only going to attract better people. If you are insecure, you are going to attract lower-level people. Because when you are at your lowest, you will be able to seem good enough.
So all in all, the only way to truly find your Valentine, is to stop trying.
The minute you stop actively searching and realize you do not need a Valentine, someone perfect will enter your life.
Take it from me as someone who has a Valentine of two years. The second I recognized that I did not need a lover, is when I found mine.
This is truly the best way to approach finding love. You have so much to bring to the table, and instead of trying to bring it to someone else, bring it to your own. If you do that, someone good will come join you.
We don’t chase, we attract here. Besides, in the end, the person you spend the most time with is yourself.
Instead, spend the time bettering your career. Find an internship, apply for a job.
Or prioritize your health. Do a face mask, go for a run, read or take a nap.
There are so many better alternative things to spend your time doing than seeking out a valentine.
And when Feb. 14 rolls around, rather than sit in your bed and weep, get dressed, get hot and do a photoshoot.
While everyone else is posting their partner, you can post and show the world what an independent baddie you are- that. To me, that sounds way cooler.