When one thinks about the nature of Greek life on college campuses, they typically associate fraternity culture with partying. Partying is an undeniable facet of Greek life as every weekend around the nation, thousands of fraternity houses will host collegiate women for socials while serving alcohol late into the night. For many women, this social aspect of their involvement in Greek life is their favorite. However, for other women who have been a victim of sexual assault at a fraternity house, the thought of going back is daunting at best.
While you may have never felt unsafe during a fraternity party, the reality is that men in fraternities are three times more likely to rape and women in sororities are 74% more likely to experience rape than other college women. Dare I say this is a result of fraternity culture? Yes. While fraternity culture did not “make” an inexcusable action like sexual assault occur, variables like excessive alcohol consumption and access to private rooms can help facilitate the assault. By no means am I suggesting that every testosterone-filled fraternity house has members participating in these illicit acts, but as women we must be aware of our surroundings and equip ourselves with proper knowledge to avoid becoming a victim and keep our friends and ourselves safe.
Here are five ways to stay safe in a fraternity house when you go out:
1. Make a plan.
Before every social or fraternity-hosted event, make sure your phone is fully charged and exchange phone numbers with all the girls in your going-out group. Apps like “Find My Friends” are great for going out. Agree that if someone wants to leave or go upstairs, they will tell the other members of the group in person or via text. If your friend is leaving, go with her. There will always be another party to attend, but there won’t be a way to undo sexual assault. Likewise, ask a friend to leave with you when you want to go. Check on your friends to make sure they made it home safe or are still comfortable if they are spending one-on-one time with a guy. If your friend has been MIA in a room for too long, don’t be afraid to ask around, find them, knock, and double check. You would rather regret being a momentary “cock block” than regret neglecting a friend in need.
2. Watch your drink.
Do not let someone you do not know and trust bring you an open drink. Watch the alcohol go from bottle to cup and keep your eye on your drink at all times. Look in your cup occasionally to ensure no one has slipped you a pill; roofies make sexual assault much easier since you lose control of your motor skills. If you are drinking jungle juice (punch, etc), sip slowly because alcohol like Everclear can sneak up on you undetected. Also make sure brothers are drinking it.
3. Know who are the risk managers or sober sisters.
Typically fraternity socials involving alcohol will designate brothers as risk managers. While ideally this person is responsible and keeping an eye out for everyone, this does not mean they can be everywhere at once and ensure the safety of all partygoers. Know how to contact a sober friend/sister for help. If you see something that isn’t right or looks like it could escalate poorly, find the risk manager and/or sober sister/friend so they are aware and can handle it from there. If you cannot find anyone sober or willing and able to help but you or someone you know is in a dangerous situation, do not be afraid to call the police.
4. Intervene if necessary.
If you see a friend who is incoherent or simply oblivious to a persistent guy who seems as if they have bad intentions or is being too aggressive, help her. You can create a distraction so she can escape or make up an excuse so she can leave. I will sometimes call a friend and pretend to be in need so she must walk away. Worst case scenario, be physically present so the guy knows you are watching him and he won’t get away with anything. If you personally need an intervention, have a safe word or text with friends so they can promptly intervene and save you.
5. Be upfront.
If you can tell an interaction with a guy, be it talking or dancing, is leading him on and you have no intention of it going anywhere, move on or make it obvious that you’re just friends. If you do choose to go to a room or leave with a guy, know that oftentimes they will assume your consent is already a given. Literally say what you feel or want. For example, if you like a guy and want to go to his room but not hook-up, say, “Hey I’m down to hang out more in your room but I do not want to sleep with you.” Remember that consent can change at any point and time. If at first you were into a guy and suddenly you change your mind, it doesn’t matter what phase of hooking up you were in (even if you’re completely naked!) you are allowed to say no.
There you have it – five ways to help you and your friends reduce your chances of being a victim of sexual assault. Click here to find resources at Penn State like emotional support or how to report an incident if you or a friend have been sexually assaulted. Remember, it is never your fault, but there are ways to minimize your chances of being a statistic.
Source: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/sep/24/rape-sexual-assault-ban-frats