Turning 20 is an exciting and scary time. You’re almost a fully legal adult and the excuse of being a teenager no longer applies, for better or worse. By this time in your life you have seen a lot and lived a lot, with many experiences to share and life lessons learned. They say with age comes wisdom, so here are some things that I have learned by 20 years old.
1. You have to let go
I put this one first because it was probably the hardest thing for me to learn. Getting older is all about letting go. You have to let go of friends, significant others, activities and sometimes even family. Growing up I had close friends and participated in three different sports. Coming to terms that after graduation all of the things I looked forward to would be gone was difficult.
However, I discovered that letting go was the best thing I could ever do for myself. I let go of toxic feelings, overbearing expectations and anything else that was holding me down. Once I learned to just let go, I was able to start experiencing some of the best parts of life.
2. Get rid of expectations
This is the biggest lesson I learned when the pandemic started. I was a senior in high school, and spring was just beginning. The spring meant it was softball season, the senior class trip, senior prom graduation: the grand finale for my schooling thus far.
Then Covid hit and everything went away. All these things that I just expected to happen were completely gone.
I quickly realized that you cannot just expect everything in life to go according to plan. You never truly know what could go on in the world that could change your plans. Letting go of my expectations allowed me to live the moments I got to experience in my life more fully than I had before, and I am grateful for that.
3. It’s okay to not know what you want to do with the rest of your life
The most dreaded question of my last two years of high school was, “what are your plans for the future?” Every time I got asked this question by someone I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry.
All of my friends seemed to know what they wanted to do and I had no idea. I was a three-sport athlete, in my school’s enrichment program, ranked at the top of my class and involved in several different activities throughout my school years. When people asked me what I wanted to be or what I wanted to do, they expected something big and grand such as a doctor or an engineer.
However, I did not want anything to do with science or math and had no clue of any career path I was interested in following. I went to college because I felt pressured that it was expected of me. So I chose Penn State because this school had many majors to choose from. I was hoping that eventually I would land in one that I enjoyed, and thankfully I did.
I still don’t know what I want to be when I graduate, but I am on a path that gives me plenty of options to discover what I truly want to do.
4. The “What’s Next?” motto
If I am being honest I have no clue where I first heard these words, but they have become my life motto. The idea behind “what’s next?” is simple: what are you planning to do next?
All throughout school they had us create five-year plans, 10-year plans, even 30-year plans. I always struggled to fill them out because I had no idea what I wanted to do or where I saw myself being. I always felt this was unfair to make children do this because not everyone feels a strong draw towards a career path.
But when I learned about the meaning behind the phrase, “what’s next?” my outlook completely changed.
All of a sudden a weight was lifted off of my shoulders, I no longer needed these massive goals I couldn’t come up with. I started thinking in terms of looking towards the next thing I wanted to accomplish.
So my first goal was picking a college that I would be happy to attend. I ended up at Penn State and I was very pleased with my decision, but then I had to come up with another “what’s next” goal.
I had heard about the Penn State Hollywood program during my freshman year and immediately decided that was what I wanted to do next. So I attended the meeting and started working on gaining all the experiences they recommended to have when you are eligible to apply.
I figured I would work as hard as I could to build up my resume so that I would have a shot at being accepted into their program but also realized that if I did not get in that was okay. I would still have all the experiences I gathered to put on my resume and would just have to figure out, “what’s next for me?”
5. There’s always someone better, so be you
You may have graduated top of your class, played all the lead roles in musicals or started varsity since your freshman year. But so did the girl sitting next to you in your freshman seminar or the guy you are competing with to get the managerial position at your company, so don’t sweat it.
If you’re always trying to be better than other people, you will never feel fulfilled. Try becoming better versions of yourself instead, because self-improvement is more fulfilling than trying to become other people.
6. How to golf
I had never expected to ever go golfing in my life. I thought golf looked boring and was simply something I was just not interested in.
All of that changed when I met my boyfriend. He is very into golf, so much that he was able to get a full ride to Penn State for being a golf caddy.
The summer after we started dating, he wanted to teach me how to play golf so we could have something to do together. So I agreed to go golfing with him and spent the whole summer learning how to play.
Now that I know how to play, I enjoy the sport and I can say that it is something I look forward to when the warmer months come around.
7. You will lose friends
When I was in high school I was in a group of six friends, and we were all very close. Although once we graduated, our friend group split down the middle and I didn’t know why.
The two girls that I remained close with both went off to join the Airforce, and the other three stopped reaching out to me. I had to come to terms with no longer having any friends to visit when I came home from college.
This absolutely crushed me because the three that no longer reached out to me I had been friends with since pre-school. It is hard to let go of friends that you have been with almost all your life, and there were often times that I tried to pull them back into my life.
I realized that they did not serve a purpose in my life anymore. The chapters with them had finished, and I learned how to start a new book and start new friendships.
8. Always write Thank You cards
My parents have always made me write thank you cards for everything. I had to write them for birthday presents, graduation presents and even some Christmas presents.
When I was younger, I never put much thought into them. I just wrote them because my parents forced me to. However, after my graduation party, I had to write several more cards than I ever had before.
I decided I wanted to make each one slightly personal to show my appreciation for the people who came to my party. A couple of weeks after they were sent out, I had several people come up to my parents or me to tell them how much they appreciated the thank you card I had written to them. I did not realize how meaningful those little cards were until those moments, and now have a new appreciation for writing them.
9. How to make the best acai bowls
The first time I ever had an acai bowl was my freshman year at Penn State. There is a place on campus called Bowls that makes custom acai bowls. I ordered one and instantly became obsessed.
When I got back to my hometown there were no places that serve acai bowls near me, so I was forced to make my own. I did some googling and found the Sambazon Acai brand was available at Target, so I went and bought two bags.
I blended the acai, a banana and some frozen strawberries together, then topped it off with some fruit and granola. Acai bowls are now my favorite healthy breakfast, and I can thank Bowls at Penn State for that.
10. Take advantage of the opportunities given to you
A big part of why I decided to go to Penn State’s main campus was because of the incredible opportunities the campus offered. Not only is there a wide selection of majors to pursue, but there is always something to get involved in.
There are hundreds of clubs and organizations to get involved in ranging from greek life to fitness to career to personal interests to volunteering and so much more. Being a huge Division I school with lots of reputable sports teams, there is almost always some sporting event to go watch with friends. There are constantly speakers, alumni events, career fairs and study abroad information sessions going on throughout the school year.
Penn State is really the school that has it all. So during my time here I have tried to take advantage of every opportunity that is presented to me to ensure I am able to gain the most out of my college experience.
Everyone learns different things at different times throughout their life. I think it is important to reflect on the things that you have learned up to this point in your life to see how much you have grown as a person.