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Falling For My Best Friend

Have you ever experienced a moment where you thought you and your guy best friend would fall in love? Yeah, I didn’t think so either. It would have never, ever, crossed my mind that I would be dating my best friend. As crazy as it sounds, I have known him for almost a year before we started dating and let me tell you… it was quite a hectic ride… Many , and I say many, of my friends have seen me during those times, wishing I could have gotten over him. But in the end, it was all worth it, every single bit of it. So let me take you back to the beginning of how this craziness happened.


It started off my freshman year where I met my boyfriend, Tanner, and his best friend, who we’ll call John. They both lived in the same apartment, but the thing was, I had a thing for his best friend. The best friend and I is just a whole different story that I don’t want to get into. From then on, I was trying so hard to get the best friend’s attention but he was just weird about it as well as talking to another girl at the same time. Funny thing is, I was really close with that girl and still am to this day. But whenever, I hung out at their apartment, which Tanner would always invite me and my roommates to their pasta night (every Tuesday), I didn’t really talk to him as much since I knew he had a girlfriend, and I honestly didn’t acknowledge him.


One moment that I remember so clearly was when John was telling us how he was transferring to UP and everyone was saying how lame he was for leaving us. I turned to Tanner and told him we are going to become best friends and he just gave me a weird look. I gave him the goofiest smile and told him it’s going to happen – little did I know I would actually fall in love with the guy. As freshman year ended, during the summer Tanner and I would snap chat off and on, wasn’t anything special until it was time to head back to Erie.


It was Sig Tau’s Sandblast, I was very excited to see everyone especially my AST sisters and I distinctly remember someone picking me up from behind and in my head I was like, “who the heck is hugging me?” I turned around and there was Tanner. Still at that time, I hadn’t thought much about him but he seemed extra cute that day – but I wasn’t too worried about him.


My feelings didn’t start until I was announced KDR’s Sweetheart which was around early September. I was constantly hanging out with them and started to get close to Tanner but knowing he still had a girlfriend at that time, I knew I shouldn’t be doing anything that could mess that up. But the more I started I hanging out with him, the more I wanted to get to know him better. He honestly became one of my favorite people. He was so sarcastic, he easily made me laugh, was so full of life, I enjoyed his company and honestly loved seeing him smile and hearing his laugh. He made me nervous all the time but it was the good kind of nervous, and there were always flutters in my stomach. Even now when I see him, it never goes away.

Things started to get tough when I realized he started to have feelings for me, too. I hated being the other woman because I wasn’t his. I wasn’t the one that he would call when I had to get up at a certain hour. I wasn’t the one he would remind that he loved. I wasn’t the one that he would have a special song with. I just wasn’t his and it hurt. A lot. I honestly couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve cried about him. How many times I wish it all could’ve went away. It was a weird kind of pain. A pain I wanted to get rid of but at the same time I didn’t. I needed him. He became my best friend, someone I could honestly never get tired of. He was my go to person when I didn’t want to be around anyone else. It was strange that I couldn’t let him go, no other guy made me laugh or smile the way he did. As a matter of fact, I tried being with someone else and it was all wrong. I just knew Tanner was the one I truly wanted to be with no matter how many times I denied it.

But what truly was heartbreaking to me was if I kept letting my feelings take over, I could’ve lost him as my best friend. I didn’t want that. I just had to let things be. You can’t force anybody to do anything, it isn’t right. So I ignored my feelings and continued being his friend – which wasn’t easy. Especially when he knew how much I cared for him. I would rather him be my best friend instead of letting my feelings get in the way and make things awkward between us.


Surprisingly enough, things started to turn. I found out he decided to end things with his ex and everything felt weird. Was this really happening? Was this a sign? I didn’t act upon it, I didn’t jump right at him. I let him do his own thing for awhile unless he needed me, as a friend. I was there for him always, I told him a heartbreak is a tough thing to go through but at the same time we all eventually have to go through it. As months went on, we started getting closer to the point where we started to go on dates. It was at that moment on my birthday, about month before we made it official, he told me he loved me and at that moment time just stopped. I honestly didn’t believe it nor did I expect it.


It wasn’t until a couple months later that he asked me to be his girlfriend. I felt fireworks explode and my heart just kept beating faster. I honestly never thought I would end up dating my best friend.


Everything was unexpected. But that is what makes the best relationships. He is honestly my best and hopefully last relationship. I’ve learned so much, as you can tell, through my long, crazy journey.


Not a day goes by that I don’t thank God for bring him into my life. He has changed me for the better. Since Tanner is also my best friend, he knows what I need, he knows what is good for me, he knows what is important, and knows what it takes to be a great boyfriend. Tanner knows all my secrets, knows my past and even the dark parts, and he knows not to judge. What’s great about our relationship is that we never had that “awkward stage”in the beginning. Everything just started to become natural and there was a good flow to it.

It isn’t a bad thing to be dating your best friend. It is a different kind of love that you can just tell isn’t like any other. You basically have the whole package, don’t take it for granted. Many people wish they could have that and I know I am very, very lucky to have him.


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Elysa (ee-ly-zah)  PSB '18 Psychology Not much of a writer but willing to give it a shot Extrovert (on a good day) Typical food and coffee lover
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