So many people, like the woman in the video below, say that they love wearing makeup because it allows them to live without their insecurities for most of the day. Personally, I have always thought the opposite; the more makeup I wore to cover my cystic acne, the worse I felt about it. Slathering on makeup desperately only made me focus on it more. I felt like I couldn’t go ANYWHERE without it and would cry when what was really under there finally had to come out at bedtime. I was so painfully uncomfortable in my own skin.
Watch the video here.
For the past five years I’ve had off and on acne issues, ranging from virtually nothing to severely scarring/cystic. I have tried everything imaginable, and I was even offered Accutane — the strongest drug available, which is no longer sold becasue of numerous lawsuits filed for its harmful effects on people’s health. Now, its generic use is heavily regulated by the government.
Me in the summer of 2014.
Five different diets, every class of antibiotics, peeling skin scrubs, different hormone treatments, and five years later I’ve realized I can’t control my skin. That’s really hard for a control freak, like me, to take. I used to cry so much over it. But, guess what? I’m so glad that I’ve had this problem. It has taught me to be less vain. It has taught me that people don’t notice the little awful details of you as much as you may think. People will love you despite your looks (boys, too) and you can learn to be comfortable in your skin, whether that’s scarred, stretched, or uneven. Acne can feel like the end of the world when you’re young, but it has taught me to not care what I look like. In our society, that pressures girls to focus on their looks 24/7, I take that as a gift. I feel like a more empowered woman who doesn’t succumb to wearing a skirt and heels to work because it’s the norm.
I still try to get rid of my acne because there’s always a little hope inside, but I no longer go to three different dermatologists and spend hundreds on treatments. I’m not advocating neglecting to fix an acne problem; just don’t let the constant experimenting, doctor’s appointments, and your mother’s analysis take over your thoughts.
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Image credit: screenshot, author’s own