1. Gefilte Fish
Imagine a fish smoothie molded into globular shapes of various sizes, packaged in a glass jar that is filled with an unidentified gelatinous substance. Oh, plus, it’s probably been in your parents’ cupboard since last year, when you were equally grossed out by this holiday staple. I don’t care what anyone says – there isn’t enough horseradish in the world to make gefilte fish even slightly more appealing.
2. Crispy-O’s
Ah, yes, Crispy-O’s: another famous holiday staple. Aside from having no fat OR cholesterol, this generic-sounding cereal also has no flavor! On the bright side, something about the composition of these O’s makes them expand to an amusingly enormous size when they’ve been sitting in milk for a while… so that’s kind of fun!
3. Kosher-for-Passover Marshmallows
This might be the only time of the year during which a Jewish person might find himself or herself craving these multi-colored, gelatin-free delicacies. It might not be the first thing you’d reach for to satisfy your sweet tooth, but hey – it’s sugar!
4. Charoset [Char-OH-set]
Okay, this stuff is actually good. Although every Jewish mama’s got her own twist on the recipe, charoset almost always includes apples, walnuts, and some other variety of dried fruit. It’s the perfect combination of textures and flavors. Plus, it’s not uncommon to pour a little red wine into the mix, too! Everyone knows the only thing better than fruit is WINE-soaked fruit!
5. Matzoh Ball Soup
If all of the delicious textures and flavors of matzoh ball soup had to be described using a single adjective, it would be home. There’s just something so heartwarming about this dish. It’s no wonder matzoh ball soup is often referred to as “the Jewish penicillin!” And to be honest, anything that makes Matzoh look/taste even a LITTLE bit less like cardboard deserves the number one spot.
Happy Passover everybody!