Dating is nerve-wracking as it is, but for over-thinkers like me it’s impossible to ignore all the thoughts that flow through your head before, during, and after a first date. A first date will always be terrifying no matter what, but that doesn’t mean can’t enjoy it! We over-thinkers can totally get through it, guys, right? Right?
1. I wonder if he’s stalking me on social media, too. Obviously I have to Google, Facebook, and Instagram search him first. Weird how we have ten mutual friends. Wait, how does he know Samantha? Um, I definitely need to act cool if this comes up in conversation and pretend I don’t know anything about him.
2. I have nothing to wear. I have clothes with tags still on them, clothes falling out of my closet, and clothes bursting through my dresser, but I have absolutely nothing to wear on this date. I knew I should have ordered that dress online last week. Is it too late to do that? No?
3. I should just cancel. What’s the point, anyway? Chances are I won’t like him even though I’ve never been more nervous in my entire life. Plus, I can’t tell if my stomach actually hurts or if it’s just butterflies, and the humidity is making my hair frizz. It’s a sign. I can’t do this. I’ll just have a date with my sweatpants and couch instead.
4. I need to relax. It’s just one date. If I don’t like him, I never have to see him again. But what if he’s the one? Omg. He’s definitely going to be the one. If he’s my soul-mate, I need to be sure my makeup is perfected and doesn’t melt off in this heat.
5. I should be fashionably late. But not too late because that’s rude. But I can’t get there before him. I wonder what time I should leave. I want to be, like, five minutes late, tops. Why is this so freaking hard?!
6. What exactly should I do when I see him? Hug? Kiss on the cheek? Handshake? Do people actually do those things nowadays? How do humans interact with one another again? SOS. *Nervous laughter*
7. What if there’s nothing to talk about? Do we just stare into each other’s eyes in silence? I should probably make a mental note of backup things to say. If it’s going really badly, I’ll just have my friend call me with an emergency. Perfect exit solution. Or too obvious? Ugh.
8. Should I shave my legs for this? If I start shaving now, I’ll definitely be too late considering I haven’t shaved in three weeks. I guess I’ll settle for wearing jeans tonight.
9. I hope he texts me his exact location so I’m not aimlessly wandering around the restaurant like a lost puppy. Maybe I’ll just stand by the door and look down at my phone until he approaches me. Will he even recognize me or am I too photogenic on social media?
10. Okay, this guy is really good looking. Really, really good looking. This could be an issue. Why doesn’t he have a girlfriend? What’s his story? I need to know. Red flag.
11. I hope he orders a drink so I can order one, too. If he doesn’t, I obviously can’t either. I don’t want to be that person who can’t get through one date without alcohol. But let’s be honest, I am that person. How many drinks is one too many, anyway? Two? Five?
12. Did I just mention my ex? OMG. CODE RED. Stop talking right now.
13. Yep, I just spilled my glass of water all over him by accident. Cool. I wonder if he thinks I’m weird now. Especially after I told him this happens on every date I go on. This is probably why I’m single. I’m so awkward.
14. I can’t tell if I like this guy. I’m going to have to give my best friend and mom a play-by-play later.
15. Great. Here comes the check. I hate this part because I never know what to do. I guess I should take out my credit card and at least pretend to try to pay. Call me old-fashioned, but if he asks me to split it, I’m out of here.
16. He offered to drive me home. Aww, that’s so nice. Wait, should I be getting into a car with a random guy I just met? Probably not, but I’m going to do it anyway.
17. We are approaching my house. My hands are sweating. Now we’re in my driveway. OMG he’s walking me to my door. What’s it going to be???
18. Stay calm. Act cool. You’re chill. You’re breezy.
19. I don’t think I can pinpoint the exact location of that kiss. Was it my cheek or my lips? I think my brain shut down while it was happening.
20. Time to go inside and await his text while my family interrogates me about my night!
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