Tom Hanks is great. Tom Hanks…. is good. Hmmm.. In fact, you know what? I Like Tom Hanks and I Think He’s Good.
Why is that capitalized, you ask? Well, because I recently slapped the phrase “I Like Tom Hanks I Think He’s Good” on a T-shirt as a means of acquiring currency, and YOU KNOW WHAT— it has been working. It’s because this is a borderline universal truth. People really do like Tom Hanks and they really do Think He’s Good.
Why Tom Hanks? Why are you thinking so much about him?
In a sea of subpar men who continue to disappoint, Tom Hanks begs to differ; He embodies goodness and grace to a Tee. HA ha. A tee. Like the ones you can purchase on Etsy. ☺
How does it feel to profit off a man, Jenna? Absolutely magnificent. Finally. Do you know how many greasy, schlepp-y “head-honchos” regularly sit around conference tables plotting ways to profit off women’s bodies to sell beer or burgers? Here I am, a bright-eyed, plucky college-age woman, profiting off of the good word, the true word– that is expressing my love of Tom Hanks.
Here’s the lowdown:
There is only one gender of shirt available, and it makes everyone look hot. So you could say I am a pioneer of human rights. I wouldn’t fight you if you said that. Anyway, the shirt is 100% cotton. It is sincerely one of the softest shirts I own. And of course, one of the most versatile. I saw one customer pair hers with a pink blazer, and another with bike shorts. Also at $25 a pop, they are rather accessible.
I will be honest with you. I one day dream of a world sprinkled with Tom Hanks shirts all over. A world where, when you see on, you need not hesitate. For you know that person’s values already. You know you are already family, by virtue of that shared truth. Written over your chest clear as day. “I Like Tom Hanks I Think He’s Good”. Did I make this sound cult-y enough yet?
Hanks be with you.