How to Ask Out Your Crush

Manhattan, New York
United States

In preparation for Valentine’s Day, awkward summertime barbeques with those neighbors you’ve never liked, holidays at home with nosy families, and finally defeating the question of “when are you going to bring someone home?”, I’ve prepared a step-by-step guide on how to ask out your crush. With any luck and following these steps, hopefully, you’ll have something better to do than pine over Noah Centineo and Shawn Mendes.

  1. 1. Find out if your crush is single

    I know that this sounds silly and obvious, but trust me, you don’t want to ask them out only to get the awkward string of texts making sure that your date isn’t a date. So make sure to ask their friend of a friend that you know from that one class if they’re dating anyone without being too obvious. Or if that doesn’t work, spend 6 hours looking through all their social media and making sure that the cute “friend” in one picture is really just a friend...

  2. 2. Gather your nerve

    Instead of asking yourself and your friends for the billionth time in the last hour whether or not your crush might like you, spend your time mentally preparing. I know it’s super hard and crazy even, but it’s better and less stressful than pining from the corner of the room or coming up with blatant excuses to talk to them. It also feels way more productive.

  3. 3. Get your crush alone.

    Again, stating the obvious, but trust me you really don’t want your friends there for “moral support.” If anything, it’ll make you feel more nervous or awkward in a situation that’s already difficult. You can always text them right after with a several emojis (and demands for ice cream depending on how it goes). Besides, do you really want them to be there when it happens?

  4. 4. Make it casual.

    Start with something simple, like just asking to hang out and maybe do a study session together. It’s much easier to blow off something like coffee as just wanting to be friends than dinner and a movie. Save that for the second date when you’re not as nervous.

  5. 5. Take a deep breath.

    Yes, this is scary and hard because oh gosh they look adorable today and the outfit you picked out this morning now feels like garbage. Trust me, you look beautiful. If you remember to breathe, it’s much more comfortable. Sure, your heart is still beating a million times minute, but at least you don’t feel like you can’t breathe.

  6. 6. Just ask!

    Stop overthinking it or worrying or obsessing that today really is not the best day. Regardless of the outcome, you’ll feel much better that it’s all over. A “no” is not the end of the world, even though it can feel that way. That’s just more time to obsess over your new crush and repeat these steps. Or, you got a yes, and it’s time to freak out all over again because what do you even wear to this first date? (That’s an article for another time.

  7. 7. Optional:

    Get that ice cream, your favorite movie, and call your friends for a comfort session. Okay, so maybe it didn’t go quite as planned, and they want to be just friends or aren’t ready to date. It’s okay! Your friends and your real friend dessert will always be there to help you get back on your feet. Hiding under your blankets for a couple of days it completely natural. Just remember to stock up on tissues and sweets beforehand, or you’ll actually have to go outside. But at the end of the day, it’s totally okay, and you still did it! That’s something to be proud of!

Congrats! You did it! Or maybe you’re re-reading this guide for the 8th time in a week hoping that this guide magically has more answers, which it still doesn’t. Take a deep breath and just ask. You’ve got this! I mean, no person in their right mind would say no to you because you’re incredible. Besides, the worst thing that happens is you go back to pining from a distance… which you were already doing anyway. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a cute boy to ask out and chocolate to eat when it doesn’t go well.