If you’re anything like me, you love the idea of football—but the moment the game starts, all the jargon has you completely lost. Whether your family treats Sundays like a football holy day, your friends live for Fantasy Football, or you’ve never seen a single game, I’ve got the essentials for you. Here’s a football guide, because no one should have to endure another round of your uncle’s confusing mansplaining.
The Basics
The official runtime of an NFL game is 60 minutes, divided into four 15-minute quarters. The game almost always lasts around three hours because the clock stops for incomplete passes, out-of-bounds plays, time-outs, reviews, penalties, and what feels like constant commercial breaks. At the midpoint of the game, there’s halftime, which allows the players to rest, teams to strategize, and often, the crowd to enjoy some sort of performance. In the regular season, halftime is about 12 minutes, however, if you’re just reading this so you’re prepped for Bad Bunny in February, the Super Bowl halftime typically lasts about 30 minutes.
The game takes place on a 100-yard field, with big white numbers and an end zone at each end where teams can score through the goalposts. The big white numbers indicate the yards from the nearest end zone, basically serving as a unit of measurement for game progression.
The NFL has 32 teams competing for the Super Bowl. They’re split into two conferences, the AFC and NFC, and each conference has four divisions of four teams. Confusing? Think of the conferences and divisions as a way to organize the schedule and set up the playoffs, a series of single-elimination games, until each conference has a champion. Then, those two champions compete for the Super Bowl.
The total number of players on the field is always 22, 11 from each team, but which players are on the field changes depending on the situation. Teams rotate between offense, defense, and special teams depending on whether they’re trying to score, stop the other team, or handle kicks and punts. And no, a team’s offense and defense aren’t out there at the same time (it’s not like your elementary school flag football games).
The Points
Touchdown: The main thing most fans get excited about! A touchdown happens when a player carries the ball into the opposing team’s end zone. That’s worth six points.
Extra Point / Two-Point Conversion: After a touchdown, the scoring team has a choice: kick the ball through the goalposts for one extra point or try another play to earn two extra points. Most teams go for the kick since it’s more reliable.
Field Goal: If the offense gets close to the end zone but can’t score a touchdown on their last down, they can kick the ball through the goalposts for three points.
Safety: The defense can score too! If they tackle the quarterback—or any player with the ball—in their own end zone, the defense earns two points.
Team Positions
Offense: The offense is the team that has the football and tries to score points, mainly through attempts to move the ball down the field and reach the opposing team’s end zone for a touchdown. The offense gets four chances, called downs, to move the ball at least ten yards. If they succeed, yay—they earn another set of four downs and continue moving toward the end zone. If not, the ball usually goes to the other team, which is kind of a downer.
Leading the offense is the quarterback (QB), basically the team’s star performer. The quarterback calls the plays and either throws, hands off, or runs the ball themselves. Then you’ve got running backs who sprint through gaps between players, wide receivers who make the catches, and the offensive linemen, who are like human walls keeping defenders away from their QB.
Defense: The defense’s job is simple: don’t let the offense score. The defensive linemen are the muscle up front, trying to break through the blockers to tackle the quarterback or whoever’s carrying the ball. Linebackers are some of the toughest players on the field. They call out defensive plays, stop running backs in their tracks, and sometimes even rush the quarterback. Then there are the defensive backs, the speedy guys sprinting downfield to cover wide receivers and stop long passes.
Special: The special teams handle all things kicking and control the field position. They come out whenever there’s a kickoff, punt, field goal, or extra point attempt. Every game starts with a kickoff, so the special team gets its moment to shine right away. During the kickoff, the kicker boots the ball off a tee as far down the field as possible, and the receiving team tries to run it back before being tackled. Once that play’s over, the offense and defense take the field, and the real game begins.
Penalties
Penalties are basically the game’s way of punishing teams when they break the rules—and yes, they’re a great excuse to act aggravated while everyone else does too. When referees blow whistles and throw flags, one team usually loses yards, giving the other team a better chance to score. For example, if the defense commits a five-yard penalty, the offense moves five yards closer to the end zone.
Some of the most common penalties include false starts and offsides, which happen when a player moves too early before the snap. A false start is called on the offense, while offsides is called on the defense, and both usually cost about five yards. Another frequent penalty is unsportsmanlike conduct, which covers taunting, arguing with referees, or other bad behavior on the field and usually costs 15 yards. Holding is a penalty that is enacted if an offensive player physically prevents a defensive player from tackling the ball carrier, docking them ten yards. Penalties can really change the momentum of a game, so they’re worth paying attention to.
This, of course, isn’t everything about football, but it’s enough to get you started when you’re watching a game. Pick whichever team seems the most fun to cheer for and cheer no matter what. My team is the New Orleans Saints, and I know they’re a mess, but I still root for them somehow. Don’t worry if you miss a few plays or penalties at first; half the fun is learning as you go and getting swept up in all the chaos, the touchdowns, and yes, even the commercials.