If you are a freshman, you will most likely have a roommate randomly assigned to you and, while most roommates turn out fine, some can be challenging to live with. Follow these steps to resolve a difficult freshman year roommate assignment!
- Take a Deep Breath
The first step in dealing with any tough situation is to take a deep breath. Bad roommates are definitely frustrating, but no good decisions are made without taking a second to think. You may be living with this person for the rest of the year, so don’t make any rash decisions. Be civil and don’t say or do anything that you might regret later.
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Talk to Them!
Communication is key. Nothing is solved without a conversation, so start there. The conflict may even end at this step if you stay calm and refrain from assigning blame or insulting them. For example, if they keep borrowing your dry shampoo without asking, calmly tell them that you’d feel more comfortable if they asked you first. They may not know that it’s bothering you!
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Ask Your RA for Help
If they don’t respond well to the conversation or don’t listen to your request, go to your RA (Resident Advisor) for help! Freshman RA’s are there to help new students adjust to college life and mediate issues between roommates. If you feel uncomfortable continuing the conversation with your roommate alone, set up a time for a roommate mediation with you, your roommate(s), and your RA. The RA can help facilitate the conversation and prevent things from escalating.
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If all else fails, apply for a room transfer!
As a last resort, you can always apply for a room transfer. It’s always best to try and talk it out, but if your roommate situation is affecting your mental health, put yourself first and get out of the room. You shouldn’t be miserable your first year of college, so don’t let a bully ruin it for you! To decide if a room transfer is the best option for you, talk to the CC’s (Community Coordinators) in your building.
To sum it up, here are some DO’s and DON’T’s of dealing with a difficult roommate.
DO’s
- Remain calm and civil
- Use your RA
- Stand up for yourself
- Leave the room and call the RA on duty if you feel as if you are in danger
DON’T’s
- Resort to petty tactics to make them as miserable as you are. Be a better person.
- Try to confront your roommate alone if previous attempts have resulted in them getting angry or physical.
- Let yourself be bullied. You are worth more than a punching bag.
- Keep it to yourself. If you need help, ask for it.