“Good time or good story?” The motto originated somewhere between freshman year’s uncertainty, and senior year’s plea for time to slow down. The same phrase that became the precedent to convincing the girls to go out during our first year calling the Big Apple “home,” and for finding silver linings within Dublin spring break trips and stolen phones. If I’ve learned anything over the past four years, it’s that sometimes, the cliches really do know what they’re talking about, and time really does fly when you’re having fun.
In the time leading up to the start of my college career, I knew there was some sort of list I would be subconsciously checking off as I moved throughout my next four years. I wasn’t sure what was on it, who it would include, or if I’d even be able to accomplish everything that had made college seem like such a mystical, magical place, but I knew I was determined to find out. On the other side of the list, college-senior Katie is here, happily telling high-school-me that she’s pretty close to being finished with this chapter, and that the mysterious list has ebbed and flowed in ways she wouldn’t even begin to comprehend. As any good story comes to an end, the looking back is usually my favorite part, and I’ve found myself realizing the to-do list has turned into an “I’ve learned” list of sorts. I’m still not sure if I’ve completed everything high-school-me imagined would be on the list, but in the age of reflection, contemplation, and reminiscing on every aspect of life possible, it seems what I did get up to isn’t too shabby, and may even fall into the rare category of good time and good story. So, speaking to my younger self and all the other scared kids out there wondering what they need to know before starting this journey, there are a couple pretty important lessons that I’m continuously learning and carrying with me. They won’t guarantee a perfect college career without any bumps, but they do help with the in-between bits, which is really where most of the best memories are made.
My Senior Year To-Do List:
- Feel Independent Without Feeling Lonely
A large part of college is figuring out how to simultaneously learn how to live and fend for yourself, while also assimilating into a brand new environment, trying your best to fit into any group that will take you. The best part about this is that it forces you to do all the things that feel impossible, all at once. Want to go get coffee? Figure out if you’re brave enough to walk to the new shop on your own and peacefully and independently enjoy your new coffee order at a table for one. Or, decide to take the leap of faith and text the cool girl you met in UNV101, asking if she’s free to grab coffee with you before class. Both options prove that you can do something that will inevitably teach you something about yourself. It might be scary, but it comes in handy down the line when you may not have the training wheels of your go-to comfort person, which is okay! Understanding you can happily do activities you’ve been told are only for pairs or groups is one of the most freeing aspects of college in my opinion. The experience expands your opportunities for growth tenfold; being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely. It’s a tough concept to grasp, but once you do, you’ll feel slightly invincible.
- Find and Focus on The Positives, but Give Yourself Grace
I’m not going to lie to you or try to sugarcoat it — college is rough sometimes. These past four years have somehow simultaneously been the best years of my life, but also given me moments that felt like I was dragging a giant bag of bricks up Mount Everest in the dark rain. You’ll discover quickly that college consists of a multitude of challenges, experiences, and personalities that introduce you to ways of life you may adopt and make part of your new self, and some that teach you exactly who, or what you never want to become. I was graciously (no pun intended) introduced to this concept by my own roommate Grace, who taught me to unwaveringly look for the positives, not take life too seriously, but also know when I need to give myself grace (again, no pun intended). It’s jarring when you meet people who somehow have such an impressive outlook on life when you’ve been dealt a bad hand for the last couple rounds, and I often found myself utterly bewildered by this girl’s ability to take a horribly inconvenient moment, and turn it into something I was able to laugh about in the same hour. Believe it or not, finding a sliver of light in a situation that’s troubling you is sometimes enough to navigate your way out of the dark. It’s easy to give up and wallow in the bad, but the brave decision to pick up the bad stuff, shove it in your bag, hike it up onto your shoulder and continue your trek up Mount Everest not only makes you stronger, but helps the journey feel like it’s worth something more. It also never hurts to find a person like Grace, who will walk beside you up the mountain, and take turns dragging the bag the whole way up.
- Celebrate… Always!
It’s no secret to anyone in my life how much my roommates mean to me. Speaking directly to all the high-school seniors watching roommate horror story documentaries until their eyes bleed (a.k.a high-school me): stop freaking out! They’re all great! Especially the blonde, California-lovin, L.A.-born Shelby, who I have to thank for helping me cross this one off the to-do list. Holding yourself to impossible standards only works for so long until you realize how good it feels to just be proud of yourself — no strings attached. Finding people in college that you can connect and celebrate with is difficult, but the search is so worth it. With all of the new challenges and obstacles this life presents you with, you have to learn how to celebrate your wins, no matter their size. Not only is it an extremely gratifying moment to learn that people can feel the same amount of pride for you if you pass your big psych final, or if you just wake up to your first alarm of the morning, but it also helps you learn how to celebrate yourself even if no one else is there to do it for you. Thankfully, if you find somebody like Shelby, they’ll usually always find a way to be a part of the cheering squad.
- Learn When to Say No, but Make Stories Worth Telling
You’ll learn very early in your college career that the balance between socializing a “normal” amount, and staying home to cram in the last round of quizlet notes before a midterm is a delicate line to tow. You somehow have to figure out how and when to use your “no’s” sparingly, and when you need to suck it up, pull out the curling iron, and hit the town with your pals. It’s not an easy line to find, and you’ll probably find yourself second guessing whatever choice you inevitably end up making, but doing so with a clear moral and self understanding standpoint can help the process. This is one task I’m not sure if I’ve fully been able to check off yet myself, and there will certainly be more moments in my life where I spend the whole day contemplating a night out or going to bed at a normal hour. In your senior year, the answers become slightly clearer when you realize you can count the amount of Saturday nights you have left with your friends on one hand, but then gets a little blurrier when you start having the philosophical conversation with yourself about whether or not you really need to be that into going out. Whatever you land on, and whatever thought process you choose to use, my main piece of advice here is to practice “good time or good story” mentality, take care of yourself, and take care of your friends. It can sometimes feel impossible to do all at once, but if you find people you can trust, and trust yourself even more, you’ll be better off for it.
- Learn To Expect the Unexpected
Before college began, I knew this concept was going to be the one I struggled most with learning. I often find myself catastrophizing before a problem even presents itself, which leaves me utterly lost and paralyzed when an unexpected change actually does occur. This isn’t a trait I’m proud of, and college quickly teaches you it’s not a feasible one. Whether it’s the simple unexpected syllabus change your freshman year, or the startling realization you might not make it across the stage in May, college is reminiscent of playing whack-a-mole with the amount of roadblocks you’ll encounter throughout your journey. What I’ve found to be helpful is finding comfort in knowing that the second you bonk one mole away, another is surely ready to pop up right next to it. This is something the last (but certainly never least) roommate taught me, and I’ve always thanked Alexa for showing me the beauty of rolling with the punches. It’s so easy to find yourself immobilized in what feels like the end of the world, but it’s even better to realize you can, and you will, face it head on, and live to tell the (usually very amusing) tale afterwards. It’s not often that Alexa is without some sort of obstacle in her daily functioning, and call it what you want — bad luck, karma, or just the way of the world, but Alexa will probably call it a bluff, and mow down each and every challenge until she gets to where she wants to be. It’s a fascinating sight to see, and for the past four years, I’ve told myself I want to be like her when I grow up, laughing in the face of the unexpected, and I can happily say the strut of all four roommates across that stage this May will do just that.
- Build Your Village & Live In It!
One of the biggest fears most of us have before starting college is worrying about how we’ll fit in, and what new friends will be found. I’m here to happily tell you, if you’re looking for a village, you simply have to make one. Yes, sounds easier said than done, but the simple acts of showing up, offering a hand, planning study dates, and simply coexisting does SO much for your college friendships, and before no time, you’re envisioning future bridesmaid line-ups and old-lady porch talks about your crazy college days. Villages can exist anywhere you make them: in the group of girls that miraculously came together from roommate pairings, classes survived together, and bar nights you really don’t recall. Or, one of my favorite groups — the journalism club your roommate randomly told you to join, where you never knew you’d create friendships, form memories, build skills, and exist in a team of people that are so joyous and impactful that it gives you hope for the rest of the world! I have to say, I’m pretty lucky in that last bit, and I can’t promise everyone will find a group as wonderful as mine, one that I couldn’t imagine not being a part of my college career. What I can guarantee is, whatever team, friendship, or village you find yourself in, you’ll be better off if you live in it! As the self-proclaimed queen of reminiscing, I know how easy it is to get swept up into mourning the loss of something you still have. The simple fact that nothing lasts forever should be enough to convince you to embrace and enjoy the moment-to-moment unforgettable pure beauty that are “the best years of your life,” because these are the times that “you’ll never get back” that you wish someone would’ve told you are “the good old days” before you actually left them.
So this is me, senior-year Katie, crying over her friends yet again as she tells you: THESE ARE THE GOOD OLD DAYS! Go live them, live in them, and make it worth it! If you’re lucky enough, you’ll get a good time and a good story. But I have found it’s not so much the story itself that makes it great, but the people you get to tell it with.