Why Do I Dare Question Myself? -- A Poem

The world is cruel,

breaking us down,

until we decide we are done and

allow ourselves to be beaten senseless.

 

I stand against it.

I fight back.

I refuse to let the world rule my life

or ruin me.

 

Why then,

is it so easy for me

to slip under the grip 

of my anxiety?

 

I let it clamp its cold hands

around my neck,

to silence my voice and

keep me from breathing.

 

Why then,

can I let its words sink in

underneath my skin, into my veins

until I am drowning within myself?

 

I know I am strong.

I know my worth.

Why then do I waver?

Why do I dare question myself?

 

Maybe life got in after all,

no matter how many cracks I thought I sealed.

It only takes one broken place

to make a ruin out of me.