Mental health is an interesting aspect of the human condition, as it fluctuates so easily due to outside forces. While some aspects will occur naturally no matter the circumstances, such as birth, death, and growth, our psychological state is uniquely sensitive to our environment and those around us. For instance, if we experience a terrible or distressing event, we may have an emotional response to it called trauma. Someone with trauma may continue to experience symptoms long after the event, that could come to impede their daily life if it goes unaddressed.
Due to the sensitivity of our nervous systems and our brains psychologically, we need to be aware of how our environment affects us. In doing so, we will then be better able to personally preserve our mental health. While there are certainly factors outside of our control, such as events occurring randomly and without warning, there are some actions we can take in order to take care of ourselves and to act as preventative measures before we experience an emotional response.
You may have heard a variation of “in order to take care of others, you must first take care of yourself.” This holds especially true as a college student, as we want to be able to perform our studies at our best and enjoy our time at school to the fullest. In order to do so, we need to be at our best health, both mentally and physically. This means getting enough sleep, drinking water throughout the day, eating regularly, and, you guessed it, taking care of our mental health. These are a few key steps that I take in my daily life in order to preserve my mental health, that you may be able to implement in your own life as well!
The first, which ironically seems to have been circulating around online as of late, is taking breaks from social media. The Internet is a sneaky culprit of messing with your mental health, as you may not even realize it is affecting you. It also does so in a variety of ways; you may become distressed by news that you read online, unconsciously compare yourself (physically or achievement wise) to others that you see on social media, or even use scrolling through your feed as a means of escape. This last point is what I have been struggling with recently. When I am overwhelmed by how much work I need to get done, feeling an emotion that is uncomfortable, or even just bored, I catch myself turning towards a scroll through Instagram or Pinterest.
This is not a healthy coping mechanism, as it allows me to ignore my feelings and thus leave them unacknowledged. When we do not let ourselves properly feel our feelings, they often progress into more serious issues, such as isolating ourselves emotionally and socially. Scrolling through social media also only provides short-term relief. While it lets me put off my work for half an hour, when I close out of an app, I am still faced with that same work. It does not make my problems disappear, nor does it make getting my work done any easier. Similarly, after a scroll to avoid an emotion, I often end up feeling much worse afterwards.
To combat this urge, when I catch myself turning towards social media, I try to take a few deep breaths to “reset” my mindset. I then try to do a short and easy activity to take care of myself that does not seem daunting or difficult, such as drinking a glass of water or taking a breath of fresh air. This gives me the brief reprieve I am seeking without spiraling me down a rabbit hole towards further unrest and dissatisfaction. I also periodically do a sweep through the profiles I follow to ensure I am only following accounts that I enjoy, and that do not leave my mental state worse than before I viewed them.
Lastly, when I do consciously decide to take a look at social media, I make an effort to time how long I am on it. You can do this several ways: allowing yourself a set amount of time each day to look at social media, giving each of your scroll sessions a time limit, or marking a specific time in your schedule to dedicate to looking at social media. Giving my scroll sessions a time limit has worked the best for me, as my free time varies each day and I generally get bored after a while. Thus, I personally limit my time on social media to only 10 or 15 minutes at a time.
Another element of our environment that may unknowingly affect us is the people you choose to surround yourself with. While we may think that all of our friends and family are a positive influence on our lives, there are some cases where people we know may leech our energy unbeknownst to us. An example of this is family gatherings, such as a birthday party. While you may love your in-laws, spending several hours with them might leave you feeling tired, annoyed, or frustrated. This is important to recognize as there are actions you can take to optimize your time with them, without reaching the point of emotional and mental imbalance. In situations such as this, I like to drive myself to the event in order to ensure I am able to leave whenever I need to.
Once you recognize how much time you enjoy spending with people who expend your energy, then you know when to excuse yourself from the event. This can also take the form of knowing not only how long at one time, but how often, to see these family members or friends. With this comes another important way to preserve your mental health, and one you can apply to those around you, which is setting boundaries. Setting boundaries sometimes comes with resistance from the person you are setting one with, and this may be the case if they were benefiting from the lack of boundary being there previously. However, boundaries are actually a great way to continue to allow someone to be in your life, but on your own terms and how you are comfortable with.
If you caught my column a few weeks ago (linked here if you want to give it a read!), you may have seen my recommendation of the social media account @kreftscouch. Dr. Janine Kreft, the Doctor of Psychology behind the account, has an excellent metaphor for setting boundaries, in the form of coffee. Essentially, firm boundaries with little to no room for compromise are represented by dark bitter drinks like black coffee or espresso, while more flexible boundaries that are open to changing are represented as sweeter drinks, like frappuccinos. It is important to recognize when to set what kind of boundary. For example, if you have a parent you still love but who you also recognize hurt you and negatively contributed to your mental health as a child, you may need to set a strong boundary as to how often and on what terms you see them now. On the other side of the spectrum, if you have a friend for instance that suggests you both see a horror movie next weekend, but you hate horror, you can set a more flexible boundary and suggest you see a different movie you are more comfortable with, or do another activity you both enjoy.
Along with boundaries, it is crucial to recognize just how much responsibility you can take on, and what you need to say no to. For college students in particular, it is easy to want to do it all; between classes, clubs, sports, work, and activities with friends, there are countless ways to stay busy on campus and countless more opportunities at your disposal. This is where time management and personal preservation come into play. You need to be able to recognize what you have the time and the energy to do, so that you are able to dedicate that time and energy to those things. College is an excellent time to understand your own priorities, to figure out what brings you joy and focus on those things, letting go of what no longer serves you.
Once you graduate and take on other or more responsibilities, you will need the skill of saying “no” to be able to continue preserving your mental health. If your coworker asks you to cover for them on your one day off, you may not have the time you need to rest and recharge so that you are able to perform your best at work. In a similar way, if you have an important presentation the next day and all of your friends want to go out on the town, you may need to sit that one out or only go for an hour or two.
One way I have found helpful to navigate this is in pausing when something is asked of me or an opportunity presents itself. I take an adequate amount of time to consider whether or not I first have the time to do something in my schedule, and then if I have the mental capacity to take something else on. Even if you may have the mental capacity and time, you should also give some thought to what mental state it will leave you in. While you may feel fine at the beginning of the week when your boss asks you to come in on Saturday, if you are meeting with your family on Sunday, working extra may leave you too tired to truly enjoy your time with them.
Limiting my time on social media, being aware of how others affect me, setting boundaries, and learning to pause and if necessary say no have all contributed to my personal preservation. Without engaging in these actions on a daily basis, I am more prone to feeling burnt out, overwhelmed, drained, and overall unbalanced. By prioritizing ourselves and our mental health, we are better able to live life to the fullest and come closer to achieving peace in our lives and minds. Try implementing some of these in your own life to see if you can recognize the difference personal preservation can make!