Letters

Dear Brain,

           How gorgeous you are. You sew such beautiful stories, stitching words together that will change the world, that creates the tapestry of your life.

           How then, do you allow the voice to spill its thoughts upon your work? It has no place here. It is not the writer. Why do you listen? Listen to the people whose voices are speaking to your heart or your soul, not who you are not, not to your body. The voice has the right to remain silent. It cannot testify; it has no right to speak. You have no obligation to listen. Fill your mind with words and stories and ideas; drown the voice out with wisdom and knowledge. Let the music in your mind grow louder, like the radio blasting with all of the windows down, on a day where nothing could stop you. You are beautiful, do not let one voice silence all of your words. Your voice is so much stronger.

 

Dear Body,

           I am sorry I wanted to call you beautiful before I realized how strong you were. I am sorry I didn’t know that you are not a mirror. You do not have to look like everyone else. But I reflected the world and all its standards and expectations upon you. I am sorry I starved you, took away your fuel, your drive, what is necessary for the results I killed you for not obtaining.

           I see your marks, your fat, your differences. But I am turning my gaze to all of you as I say you are worthy. You are beautiful, but you are strong. You are worthy. I see the imperfections, but I see the muscle. The ferocity. You will not give up, so I will not give in. I will make you stronger. I will let you feel the burn of power taking shape and form. But I will let you sink into relief, into comfort, and, finally, into confidence. For your beauty lies in you; you are beautiful, powerful, and mighty.

 

Dear Heart,

           Oh, how I let you be broken, allowed unworthy hands to pick you up and take you away; hands that would break you, bruise you, and shatter you entirely. Hands that caressed your sweet face only to grab your throat and choke you, until blood no longer flowed to you and you lost your beat. Yet, you persisted. You trusted. In doing so, you became stronger, more resilient, not unbreakable, but you could not be crushed. You learned to excel in the art of picking yourself up, in the field of fixing yourself, putting your scattered pieces back together. Your walls were never high enough, your defenses never strong enough. The boys always found the keys that could unlock your every door and lock.

           But never again would they use you. I promise you I will not fall in love as easy as we have. I promise I will not trust the boys whose voices are like chocolate that will give you a stomachache. I promise you are worth so much more than anything they have to offer. I will give you love of my own. Your value does not lie with them. I know your worth.

 

Dear Soul,

           You have found yourself. You are wild and free, but you have been found. Take comfort in this. You may feel lost, but you have answered the call from the mountains, and you went. Although in search of nothing, with only acceptance as your weight, you have found something, in the water you swam in, rowed upon, and the waves on which you sailed. You have felt it in the sun, the wind and the earth. You have seen it in the sunrise, the campfire, and in the songs of other people. You have smelled it in the ink you dance across the page and the locker room that became your home. You have heard it in the laughter of your people. Don’t worry. Take comfort in what you now know and have found, and what you will learn. Rest where your soul resides. The ice has become your heart, the mountains your foundation, the water your strength, the forest your inspiration. Know this and rise. Take your power.

 

Sincerely,

    Myself.