There’s a Jon Bellion song that I listen to whenever I’m feeling self-conscious called “Human.” It’s a song about being uncertain with how you’re living your life and all the fears that come along with being, well, human. It’s a song that I of all people can easily relate to because overthinking is without a doubt my worst quality.
Let me fill you in on what goes through the mind of an overthinker. When I was going to therapy back in my junior year of high school, my therapist told me that overthinking is linked to psychological problems, such as depression and anxiety. So it’s no surprise that your mental health tends to deteriorate whilst overthinking. I’d say that 90% of the time, I’m okay. I’m confident in my decisions and I don’t have second thoughts about what I’m doing. Although the other 10% of the time is spent with me overthinking about something.
People tend to overthink for different reasons. I know that when I overthink, it happens most often when I’m stressed out, especially when I’m alone by myself. When you’re feeling down, it’s easy to start having doubts. You doubt yourself and your relationships with other people. Nothing is actually wrong, but with your mind wandering it’s easy to get upset over the silliest things.
Maybe you don’t have a lot of friends. You’ve never been the popular kid with fifteen best friends, and you’ve never been the kind of person who everyone wants to stop in the hallway so they can chat with you. You may not have thousands of followers on Instagram, and whenever you post a picture you may not get a lot of likes or thirty comments from random people telling you how spectacular you are.
You might worry about your friends making other friends. Maybe you have silly thoughts sprouting in your brain about being replaced. You may feel like your friends will like their new comrades better than you. Maybe you’re worried that they’ll discover all of these annoying qualities about you that they don’t experience with these new people, which could result in them hanging out with their new friends more often in order to get away from you.
Have you ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend who had a close friend that you were jealous of? Not because you didn’t trust them, but because you were afraid of the friend replacing you? Think of it this way: whoever you’re dating is supposed to be your go-to person. They’ve probably seen you at your worst points, and you’ve probably told them things that you’ve never shared with anyone else. When you assume that they’re getting close with a friend in a similar manner, you can’t help but wonder if they’re your partner’s new go-to person, even if their relationship is strictly platonic.
I know a lot of people who are insecure about what other people think of them, myself included. We live in a world where, unfortunately, everyone judges each other based on what they see on the outside. I am a big advocate for everyone being entitled to their own opinion, so long as they’re not being disrespectful. Yet, I worry that other people will judge me based on my beliefs and that they’ll think that I’m a shitty person just because I don’t agree with something that they support.
If you know the exhaustion that comes with overthinking as well as I do, then you understand the desperation I feel for wanting to turn your thoughts off. I think that we can all learn a thing or two from overthinking, which is that you don’t need to waste your time being unhappy by worrying about ridiculous scenarios that only exist in your head. You could have spent all that time worrying on something productive, like reading a book, listening to music, or hanging out with someone who brings joy into your life. I guarantee you that no one else is thinking about the same things you’re agonizing over. It is okay to be unsure, but you shouldn’t over-analyze things to the point where you’re anxious. But hey, I get it: we’re only human.