Growing Up

Study-Abroad

Let’s just say,

There was never

A dull day when I

Was half a world 

Away every day.

I will always be

Able to say, that

I have love for 

People who I met

That I didn’t get

To spend enough 

Time with, and 

Sometimes I wish

I’d stayed behind

Just to find the

Time I feel I lost.

The thing I miss

The most, is the

Way I felt at home

When I was on my

Own, and surrounded 

By people who didn’t 

Know me, but decided

To get to. The same 

People who said, 

“We’ll never forget you”

I still know that’s true,

But I really miss the

Joy it brought me to

Annoy, everyone I 

Loved. I had no idea,

How many people I

Would meet, and 

How happy they’d be

To greet me again.

And how people I

Knew in passing

Turned into people

I held back tears

While saying goodbye

To. Wishing that me

Being in a foreign city 

Could be everlasting.

Memories

I have so many 

Good memories

That I wish, 

would Have been

reality forever. It’s 

difficult to imagine

Myself as ever 

being carefree and

Happy, when everything

That brings me 

joy is only a memory, 

that can’t fill the void. 

Burnt-Out

Every morning, 

I don’t want 

to go out. I don’t 

want to Get out

of bed, I Would 

rather go back to 

Sleep and quiet

the noise In my 

head instead.

I can feel my joy

burning away

Slowly day by 

Day. Still being 

followed by the 

lingering gray cloud

of the day. No matter

what, I still can’t chase

my worries away. 

18

Some people act

Like, When you turn 

18, that everything is

a consistent Teenage

dream. Since I have been

18, all I’ve wanted to do, 

is scream. People

say that, I’m creative. 

But I can only make

Things like this,

When I’m avoiding

Responsibility. Because

To me, I could never

Be bored or lonely

If I do the things that

Take my mind off the

Ground below me &

Turn attention to the

Achievements, instead.

But still, accomplishments

Arent enough to get me out 

Of bed, or dread the day

Any less or more than I 

Already did before.

Human Life

I’ve said it 

before, and I 

will say it again.

I really don’t 

understand This 

world that we’re in.

Here I find myself 

questioning everything

Yet again. I don’t 

want to think with

my head.

I’d rather think

using only my 

heart Instead

But I know when

my alarm goes 

off in the 

morning & I

get out of bed,

that I’m going to 

have to lock away

My heart and instead rely 

Only on my head which

Personally, I really dread.

9-5 Nightmare

I’ve always figured 

If I want to feel alive,

Then I shouldn’t get a 

9-5. I never really thought

That a simple thing,

Such a career would

Cause me so much

Internalized fear.

Oh, dear what will I

Do, when me and you

Don’t know if our dreams,

Are actually true or if it’s 

Just that the rent is due?

Essay

I wish, academic 

Writing came easily

To me, but it seems

To be easy to say

And so much more 

difficult to write an

Essay. I’d rather never

Write an academic 

Paper again, put i

Have to pick up the

Pen and sit down 

At my desk again.

If I want to get this

Degree, I need to

Be able to meet 

A minimum page 

Limit of 3.

Dice

Sometimes life

Is like rolling the

Dice. Sometimes

It’s just right, other

Times it causes a

Fight. But when you

Roll the dice, the only

Thing that matters is

That you’ll still be in

The game, even though 

A mediocre win once

In a while won’t numb 

Your pain, you know 

It will drain a bit of

Your shame. As long

As you don’t lose your

Spot in the game, maybe

One day you’ll explain, 

How you were able to

Reclaim your fame.

Baby Of The Friend Group

I remember when

I first met my friend

group from my first

Semester.  I was

the baby of the friend 

group, I know that’s true. 

I can’t imagine how 

boring life would have

been, if they Weren’t so 

kind as to be My friends.

Since, I had felt like I was 

missing my teenage

Dream and trading it for a 

Everything that seemed, too

Old for me. Just for my degree.

But, I could hold my hope that I’d 

Feel what it means to be

Young and dumb, and have

So much fun, when they

Were the ones I loved

To annoy, and they considered

My annoyance more of a joyance.

Ominous

The sky was a 

bit more gray 

today than it 

was yesterday, or 

Any other past day.

The feeling that 

something bad was

coming just wouldn’t 

Go away. The leaves 

Were spread all over 

the pavement, but the

Wind hadn’t blown them 

away just yet. 

Hate

There’s so many

Things that fill me

with hate. Too many

to name to this very

Date. It’s never too

Late to develop a 

New dislike for anything

Whether it’s occurring

At day or night,

You can always 

keep Your negative 

thoughts on your walks, 

or hear them in your talks.

They can just stalk you, 

like a Deer in headlights 

in Plain view. We all know

That’s true. Some others

Might, but I wouldn’t hold

It against you. 

Self image 

My self-image,

Changes with the 

Ticking of the clock.

Day by day, minute

By minute, I just can’t

Quit it. I don’t want to

Take all my negative 

Energy, and sit in it.

But the way that I 

Can’t quite portray if

I feel insignificant or 

Pretty today, is getting

In the way of me having 

A good day.

Happy

I never know

If I’ll l ever be

Truly happy.

Like everything 

That makes me 

Smile, requires

A mile for an inch.

Sometimes I think

Life has never felt

As beautiful as this,

Then it’s all faded into

A giant abyss. I miss,

When I was happy, 

But then again I’ve never

Been truly happy. But

People that think I am,

Really don’t know me.

• hcoz
• poetry
• poetry writing