Study-Abroad
Let’s just say,
There was never
A dull day when I
Was half a world
Away every day.
I will always be
Able to say, that
I have love for
People who I met
That I didn’t get
To spend enough
Time with, and
Sometimes I wish
I’d stayed behind
Just to find the
Time I feel I lost.
The thing I miss
The most, is the
Way I felt at home
When I was on my
Own, and surrounded
By people who didn’t
Know me, but decided
To get to. The same
People who said,
“We’ll never forget you”
I still know that’s true,
But I really miss the
Joy it brought me to
Annoy, everyone I
Loved. I had no idea,
How many people I
Would meet, and
How happy they’d be
To greet me again.
And how people I
Knew in passing
Turned into people
I held back tears
While saying goodbye
To. Wishing that me
Being in a foreign city
Could be everlasting.
Memories
I have so many
Good memories
That I wish,
would Have been
reality forever. It’s
difficult to imagine
Myself as ever
being carefree and
Happy, when everything
That brings me
joy is only a memory,
that can’t fill the void.
Burnt-Out
Every morning,
I don’t want
to go out. I don’t
want to Get out
of bed, I Would
rather go back to
Sleep and quiet
the noise In my
head instead.
I can feel my joy
burning away
Slowly day by
Day. Still being
followed by the
lingering gray cloud
of the day. No matter
what, I still can’t chase
my worries away.
18
Some people act
Like, When you turn
18, that everything is
a consistent Teenage
dream. Since I have been
18, all I’ve wanted to do,
is scream. People
say that, I’m creative.
But I can only make
Things like this,
When I’m avoiding
Responsibility. Because
To me, I could never
Be bored or lonely
If I do the things that
Take my mind off the
Ground below me &
Turn attention to the
Achievements, instead.
But still, accomplishments
Arent enough to get me out
Of bed, or dread the day
Any less or more than I
Already did before.
Human Life
I’ve said it
before, and I
will say it again.
I really don’t
understand This
world that we’re in.
Here I find myself
questioning everything
Yet again. I don’t
want to think with
my head.
I’d rather think
using only my
heart Instead
But I know when
my alarm goes
off in the
morning & I
get out of bed,
that I’m going to
have to lock away
My heart and instead rely
Only on my head which
Personally, I really dread.
9-5 Nightmare
I’ve always figured
If I want to feel alive,
Then I shouldn’t get a
9-5. I never really thought
That a simple thing,
Such a career would
Cause me so much
Internalized fear.
Oh, dear what will I
Do, when me and you
Don’t know if our dreams,
Are actually true or if it’s
Just that the rent is due?
Essay
I wish, academic
Writing came easily
To me, but it seems
To be easy to say
And so much more
difficult to write an
Essay. I’d rather never
Write an academic
Paper again, put i
Have to pick up the
Pen and sit down
At my desk again.
If I want to get this
Degree, I need to
Be able to meet
A minimum page
Limit of 3.
Dice
Sometimes life
Is like rolling the
Dice. Sometimes
It’s just right, other
Times it causes a
Fight. But when you
Roll the dice, the only
Thing that matters is
That you’ll still be in
The game, even though
A mediocre win once
In a while won’t numb
Your pain, you know
It will drain a bit of
Your shame. As long
As you don’t lose your
Spot in the game, maybe
One day you’ll explain,
How you were able to
Reclaim your fame.
Baby Of The Friend Group
I remember when
I first met my friend
group from my first
Semester. I was
the baby of the friend
group, I know that’s true.
I can’t imagine how
boring life would have
been, if they Weren’t so
kind as to be My friends.
Since, I had felt like I was
missing my teenage
Dream and trading it for a
Everything that seemed, too
Old for me. Just for my degree.
But, I could hold my hope that I’d
Feel what it means to be
Young and dumb, and have
So much fun, when they
Were the ones I loved
To annoy, and they considered
My annoyance more of a joyance.
Ominous
The sky was a
bit more gray
today than it
was yesterday, or
Any other past day.
The feeling that
something bad was
coming just wouldn’t
Go away. The leaves
Were spread all over
the pavement, but the
Wind hadn’t blown them
away just yet.
Hate
There’s so many
Things that fill me
with hate. Too many
to name to this very
Date. It’s never too
Late to develop a
New dislike for anything
Whether it’s occurring
At day or night,
You can always
keep Your negative
thoughts on your walks,
or hear them in your talks.
They can just stalk you,
like a Deer in headlights
in Plain view. We all know
That’s true. Some others
Might, but I wouldn’t hold
It against you.
Self image
My self-image,
Changes with the
Ticking of the clock.
Day by day, minute
By minute, I just can’t
Quit it. I don’t want to
Take all my negative
Energy, and sit in it.
But the way that I
Can’t quite portray if
I feel insignificant or
Pretty today, is getting
In the way of me having
A good day.
Happy
I never know
If I’ll l ever be
Truly happy.
Like everything
That makes me
Smile, requires
A mile for an inch.
Sometimes I think
Life has never felt
As beautiful as this,
Then it’s all faded into
A giant abyss. I miss,
When I was happy,
But then again I’ve never
Been truly happy. But
People that think I am,
Really don’t know me.