The semester is coming to a close, and I wish you the best of luck during finals week. Here are a few epiphanies from my life that I’d like to share.
- Communication
This has been a recurring theme throughout the semester. It’s frightening how easily miscommunication can occur, especially if no issues are talked about with my friends. I’ve never been a confrontational person unless it’s with unfamiliar people because it’s easier to tell a stranger “no” or “I don’t like that you did this,” but it’s much harder to confront my friends and so much easier to brush off the things that have upset me or bothered me in any way. I’m still learning how to communicate with my friends about when my boundaries are being crossed, but I’ve discovered that when issues are addressed, the weight is lifted off my shoulders.
- Boundaries
I’m Latina, and the concept of boundaries is relatively uncommon, not addressed, or completely ignored. I’d always understood I had limits, but I didn’t realize how important they truly are. I know I don’t like it when people call me names or when my things are touched by my sisters or mother, but every time I try to set a boundary, I’m ignored or told things like “she’s your sister, learn to share” or “but it didn’t bother you last time.” So, because I’ve never had my boundaries respected, I dismiss anything that bothers me as minor or insignificant, and I’ve learned that if I ignore what bothers me, it will eventually build up and cause me to enter a dark state of mind that leaves me feeling suffocating and stuck. As of recently, I’ve learned that if something does cross my boundaries, to speak up and never leave it unsaid and that’s because of three things: it’ll continue to happen, the person doesn’t know they’re doing it and you’ll feel so much better afterwards.
- Alone Time
Most of the time, I prefer having my own space and being alone to do what I want. It doesn’t bother me unless I’m alone for an extended period of time or am extremely bored. When I’m jittery or have an urge to do something but there’s nothing to do, I’ve found that leaving my room, sitting in the lounge by the window and listening to music helps. It allows me to think, reminisce, and accept the things I’ve lost and gained over time. It allows me to live in the present rather than the future because I find that when I’m focusing too much on passing my classes and turning in my assignments, everything else in life sort of blurs into the background like white noise. This makes me feel like I’m losing time so when I do get a chance to sit down and take in my surroundings, the sun sheds light on the darkest parts of me.
Yes, life’s growing pains are unpleasant, but change is necessary for growth and that’s something I’ve come to find comfort in.