The anticipation
When does it get better ?
Everyone says after every storm the sun comes out, but I am exhausted of waiting
Distance has become my new response
I have climbed out of dark tunnels
Been thrown boulders bigger than what my body can handle
My new reaction is in response to the women I have built
Myself
Not everyone deserves to have the same access to me
I am healed
I have to protect myself at all cost
People’s intentions never lie, no more ignoring the red flags
Putting myself first isn’t selfish, it’s a representation of my healing
You’re constantly in a pedestal between the old and the new you
But you have already broken chains of generational curses
Chains of expecting the same love you give to the world
The shambles of ignoring red flags because yellow looks so beautiful
Healing means holding yourself accountable
Healing means having in perspective some disguise themselves to be genuine just to seem like a good person to others
Healing means growing to realize sometimes no response is the best response
Healing means realizing people rather have secret animosity and hate but act like they’re your friends
Only to have access to you, because you can never be doing better than them
Healing means staying true to yourself always
~Sincerely Jayy