There is so much anticipation surrounding your first year at college. I remember the constant pit in my stomach as the days flew away, and the date got closer and closer. Additionally, in this media-centered age, it seemed like everyone was telling me what to do: I would scroll on TikTok and find a post of a mom telling me that this $100 fan is a must-have for college dorm life. I would watch movies wondering if I would need pink stationary like Elle Woods, or find an acapella group like the girls in Pitch Perfect.
The reality of getting ready for your freshman year of college is so overwhelming. We feel like there is so much riding on the fact that this is our time to thrive and become the best versions of ourselves that we can be. But I think it is important to elevate these feelings and remind yourself that this “perfect college experience” is a total myth, and whether you’re going into your first year, just completed it, or have been in college for a few years, I want to give five pieces of advice I know I would have loved to hear.
1. You are the Master of Your Fate and Captain of Your Soul
During a press tour for the movie Dune: Part One in 2021, famous actor Timothée Chalamet is virally quoted saying, “You can be the master of your fate, and you can be the captain of your soul, but you have to realize that life is coming from you, not at you, and that takes time.” Just like half the internet, I was so moved by what he said. The video clip of him saying it often resurfaces on social media, and one day in September, I saw it again. I then learned that the quote “I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul” is the famous final line of the poem “Invictus” by William Ernest Henley. For some reason, at that moment, I had a huge mindset change.
My mom, during our weekly calls (another piece of advice, call your mom), would always remind me that college is one of the only times in your life when the only thing you really have to care about is yourself. You can pick your classes, you can decide who you want to be friends with, and you make your own decisions. In hindsight, this is terrifying, but at the same time, so exciting. We can control our future; we can control our next moves. It’s important to understand that this is all part of learning to live with the anxiety about all the possibilities ahead of you. Just remember not to get lost in your fig tree.
When things get stressful, we must remember what Timmy said, even though it can seem out of our control: “Life is coming from you, not at you.” We need to give ourselves grace, take steps back, and always remind ourselves that we have so much life to live, and we have time to figure things out. So, take this time to enjoy this part of your life–this time when you do things for yourself.
2. Make Your Walk to Class Count- Podcasts and Audio books
The Ohio State campus is large, and no matter where you live, it is a given, especially as a freshman, that you will have classes all over. Headphones will become your best friend, but it did not take long before I was sick of all my playlists. My advice: audio books and podcasts.
I am a reader, but I also love to listen to books. It is free to get a Columbus Metropolitan Library digital library card, and when connecting it to the Libby app, you get a huge selection of audio books for free. One book I loved listening to this school year was Eli Rallo’s I Didn’t Know I Needed This. I highly recommend this book to college freshmen. It puts everything in perspective, from the reality of situationships in college, how to know if a sorority is for you, how we find our passions, and what we learn from love. She writes like an older sister, and it is so refreshing to hear her talk about dating, friendship, and everything intimate, without shame. Additionally, I’ve been loving podcasts. My go-to’s are Brooke and Connor Make A Podcast, House of Cinema, and The Ezra Klein Show.
3. Social Media is a highlight reel
I’m constantly reminded by my family, peers, and strangers on the internet that “comparison is the thief of joy.” However, no one ever tells you what to do with that information. I think it is humanly impossible not to compare ourselves to the people around us. Even on LinkedIn, an app some of us need for our futures and professional development, is comparison central.
I don’t have a solution for how to live a comparison-free life, but I can remind you how silly the purpose of social media is. When you start to get existential and think you are not doing enough, remind yourself that everything you see about others’ college experiences has been curated for an app. Your Saturday nights can look different from the people you follow, and that is totally okay. We only see their highlights, and in reality, if you’re on social media, your followers only see yours. It is a very silly thing when you can take a step back from the whole social network of it all.
You’re the only one who knows what can serve you and protect your own peace. Sure, it is great to have a friend drag you out of bed once in a while, but some of my favorite memories from my first year of college have been just sitting around a TV on Saturdays watching SNL with a small group of friends or even, god forbid, a night to yourself to watch that show you’ve been telling your friends you’re going to start. Remember that one knows you but you, and social media is a highlight reel. No one wants to see me post a picture of me crashing out in my bed at 2 a.m. on a Friday watching LaLa Land.
4. There’s something out there for you to do. if not, keep the movie theaters in business
Again, a recurring piece of advice you will hear all the time is to start joining clubs and activities early, and unfortunately, for those who find this terrifying, it is very true. Clubs in college are really the best way to meet people who share similar interests. After the club fair, you may have joined 15 GroupMe groups, and it can be terrifying to show up to the first meeting for these clubs. If putting yourself out there is scary, set a goal to attend only one club meeting that month. I promise, if it is the right environment for you, one meeting will turn into many more.
Being involved is a great way to fill your downtime in college, but if you still feel like there is nothing to do on the weekends, go see a movie. For OSU students, through D-Tix at the Union, you can get discounted, and sometimes free, tickets to Gateway on High Street. Also, because I lived in a dreaded west campus tower, I was super close to Phoenix Theatre Lennox Town Centre, which, with your student ID, gives great ticket discounts. So, see a movie alone, with a small group, or on a date. Even if I saw a bad movie this school year, and trust me, I saw a lot of movies this year, I never regretted going to see it in the theater.
5. How we cope with the ‘best four years of your life’
We need to understand that saying “this will be the best four years of your life” is putting way too much pressure on four years. I think that this year has been filled with highs and lows, for me and everyone. Being in college is such an exciting experience, but saying that it will be the best experience of your life is so hard to understand.
I think it is important to realize that college is very defining, and you can learn a lot about yourself, but in the long run, it will never be the only defining factor of your life. This year definitely went by fast, but everything always does. So, enjoy the stressful times, the sad times, and especially the times of growth. By changing your mindset and removing everything anyone has ever told you college should be like, or will be like, or is or was like for them, you can just applaud yourself for making the most out of this change. So much about the future is undetermined, and there is so much about ourselves we don’t even know yet.
Remember to make the most out of this experience you have. Take lots of classes. Add a minor that excites you, not just one you think graduate schools would like to see. Maximize your options and expand your circles. You are the master of your four years, so listen to a podcast, stay in, join a club, see a movie, and remember “life is coming from you, not from you.”