Do you ever feel like you’re the one that everyone goes to, but you don’t have anyone to talk to? Well, same here.
I love being someone that my best friends can come to. It makes me feel wanted and needed and that even though unsolicited and unprofessional, I actually give good advice (or I like to think so). But have you ever been that person who likes to help everyone out with their issues while completely disregarding your own?
At first, it makes you feel like, “well, maybe I’m just a considerate and empathetic person” or “I just don’t like talking about myself or being conceited.” But after some time, you have to think to yourself, why am I like this. Why is it so hard for me to express my emotions to someone or convey how I really feel or what I am going through?
Sometimes what helps sounds ridiculous and cliché, but you do need to talk about it. Start small with little things like if you had a bad day, don’t shrug it off when someone asks with the reply “fine.” Every time we lie to ourselves and others, it’s just a way for us to cover our own emotions. The more that we hide it, the more we kind of get blurred into the back, and our own needs aren’t being prioritized. It can be hard talking to someone that may seem like they have it better than you and have you thinking that they would never understand. But that’s just the thing. If you don’t give people a chance to see yourself open up, then you’re never going to know if they can relate, and that can get in the way of beautiful relationships forming.
Although it may be hard, you need to be able to speak up to your friends about your view of your friendship. Maybe you feel unappreciated or taken for granted, but your friends won’t ever recover and progress if they don’t see any issues in the first place. If at the end of that conversation they treat you worse or act petty, then they probably were not good friends, to begin with. If they understand and communicate ways for both of you to mend the relationship, then that’ll only make it stronger.
And my last piece of advice, be good to yourself. It’s okay to choose YOU. You don’t have to say yes to everything and you don’t have to do every single favor that is asked of you. It’s not selfish, it’s called good well-being. Find ways to improve your self-esteem, mental health, and overall health. What makes you happy about yourself and find ways to embrace the things that make you, well you.