By Marley Cruise
I’m a creature of habit that thrives on routine. This is a fairly helpful aspect of my life when I have said routine, but I’ve found that the time in between starting classes and working out a routine for myself is an incredibly uncomfortable and anxiety-producing time. This strange mix of anxiety, discomfort, depression and unused energy leaves me in a headspace that, when my roommate asked me earlier this week how I was feeling, my response was, “Life.” This response was probably not solely an indication of my headspace this week but was also caused partially because I was only half-listening and thought that she had asked: “What’s up?”
Nevertheless, I think that “life” is an apt description for the sad, anxious and empty feeling I’ve been living with since the new semester started and I’ve left home again. I’ve been ghosting my way through my first two weeks, feeling this emptiness that I’m choosing to call “life,” hoping that I would fall into a routine.
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This is clearly not working out for me, but I’m currently building plans to break out of this headspace, maybe make a schedule that can help me regain a routine, and work on not getting assignments turned in at the last minute. I want to live a mindful life and not just float to my own devices in space like I have a tendency to do when I get caught up in feeling life rather than living.