Recently, a friend of mine texted me some fears going into her freshman year of college. At first, I was going to give the same fake response we all get before we leave for college: omg don’t worry you are going to thrive! After all, it is supposed to be the best four years of our life. With minimal effort, we are supposed to find our bridesmaids in the first few weeks. As I reflected on this message, I realized I owed my friend a better thought out response. My freshman year experience did not include instant friends or immediate success, but it was also one of the best years of my life. If you are in the midst of your freshman year, and longing for honest advice, I hope this will help. Everyone’s experience will be different and amazing in its own way, trust that.
-
Read A Book
My freshman year of college I made it a goal to read a book each month. It was not an easy adjustment. I had to talk myself into trading my phone for a chapter of my book as a homework break. Reluctantly, I switched from netflixing as a part of my nightly routine to reading a few pages of a book. But eventually, I fell in love with reading. When you are going through such a stressful phase of life and you have a million voices telling you what you should be doing, it is relaxing to focus in on one voice in a world completely different from your own.
image by Emily Rudolph
-
Commit to Volunteering First Semester
My first semester, I happened upon a flyer in the library for a program to tutor elementary school children. I was missing the camp I worked at, and I thought hanging out with kids after school might make college feel a little more like the time in the summer I loved so much. If you establish a purpose for yourself during the first semester you will feel greater peace. Instead of focusing on who you will be friends with, where you are going Friday night or what house you will run home to on bid day, your mind focuses on others. If you can be reminded that there is more in the world than you and your college experience, you will take a lot of the stress off yourself.
-
Set Goals
As a freshman, I was not sure I would love Ole Miss, as it was more of a financial choice for me than values based; however, I was determined to make the best of it, so I set goals for myself. Reflecting on my freshman year, I realized those goals really changed my college experience for the better. If you are in your dream school, you may expect the perfect school to create the perfect college experience for you. This may leave you disappointed when you are not as happy as you expected to be. Don’t forget the old Hannah Montana’s age-old advice “life’s what you make it.” You have to create the life you want for yourself.
-
This Isn’t the End of Your High School Friendships
Everyone will tell you that you will lose touch with your high school friends, which is a really hard thing to wrestle with when you are in such a stressful time in your life. Don’t listen! Because guess what? Losing touch is a choice not some happenstance of fate. It’s hard, but it is worth it. Really reflect on the people in your life and how you can continue to be a good friend from a distance. I am a forgetful person, so I would literally write in my planner to text a friend from home. It is all about making those people a priority. I have amazing new friends in college, but I am grateful I still have solid connections with the people who made high school great.
-
It is Ok to Take Your Time Making Friends
You might not find your people for months. That is ok. The people in your life can really make or break your college experience, so make sure you are surrounding yourself with people who you really like and who make you a better person. That being said, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. I met two of my best friends by walking up to them on bid day and informing them that I did not know anyone in our pledge class and asking if I could please hang out with them. Was I embarrassed in that moment? Of Course. Was every moment of friendship that resulted worth it? Absolutely.
-
The Fact That You are Terrified is a Good Thing
Looking back on my 19 years, I can see that all of my favorite moments in life began with me being terrified. In fact, my favorite or most impactful memories began with me wanting to run in the other direction. College is no exception. You do not have to talk yourself out of being scared, but take comfort in the fact that it may not be a bad thing.
Even if you feel like the cliched “this will be the best four years of your life” has failed you, remember that there is always a way you can be working toward personal growth and greater happiness in life. If making it the best four years of your life seems like a daunting task then try to focus on how you can make each day special. Everything will fall into place from there.