Stereotypes, everything has one. One, in particular, is the one that is a tale as old as time, the man “always has to pay”. In the golden age of gender equality and awesome boss babes in charge, it can get a little twisted on if it’s okay for the women to pay for the man. In this day in age, there should be no question about it: of course, things can be split equal ways.
Just within the past week my gal pals and I were chatting about how their boyfriends pay for them all of the time when I said something which for some could be considered controversial but for me, I was pretty proud of. I said, “well I usually pay for stuff when I can.” Shocked, my friends tossed themselves into an uproar over how “that’s not how it should be!” “how dare he make you pay for him all the time!” To me, I see nothing wrong with spoiling your significant other no matter what gender. In fact, its something I take pride in knowing that every once in a while I can spoil him.
You see, sometimes what I believe gets a bit misunderstood is the fact that we are college students, we don’t have an infinite amount of money nor is it his responsibility to support me as well as himself. With being in college comes with a not so flexible work schedule, in our case he works a more seasonal job while I work only every weekend although I do make significantly more money than him most of the time. I explained to my friends that it is completely and totally okay to be the one to take charge and pay for the movie tickets or for the food. I mean, you are a boss babe, right? Being financially stable by yourself as a young woman is something to take extreme pride in, it’s a rewarding feeling knowing you can do something nice for yourself and others.
Where I believe the confusion and problem comes from is when you are more of his second bank account or its expected of you (and vice versa) When dealing with this you have to make sure it’s a situation where you know if he’s able to hes got you and is willing to do the same things for you, it cant be one-sided at all or that’s when it becomes a problem. As a young woman you need to know your worth and understand in a relationship you can be there for your significant other but at the same time don’t forget about you and your needs, after all, you are his girlfriend, not his mother.
After pleading my case to my friends they began to understand its not me babying him, it’s just me being stable enough to be the true boss babe I am and take charge sometimes and that’s completely okay. So ladies, don’t be afraid to be independent and pay for that check, sometimes its nice for him to be a little spoiled and for you to know your worth, break the old fashion stereotype. You got this!