Still living in my hometown sucks, not just because I haven’t been able to leave and start my life somewhere else. Everyone is still in their own cliques from high school and I cannot seem to make friends. I talk to people, make friends at work, and classes, but no one is willing to become close enough to choose to hang out. I don’t want to complain because my life is great. I have a loving, happy relationship with my boyfriend, an apartment with him, and two beautiful cats. Sometimes it still gets lonely.
Something I will feel upset about is that my absolute best friend lives so far away. She brings out the best in me, supports me, and loves me like we are sisters. She is out in the world getting the education she wants, making friends, and getting so many experiences. I mean, so am I, but it is different. I haven’t been able to get the college dorm experience or being forced to make friends because I don’t know anyone. I am in a town that I cannot wait to escape from with my little family. I cannot wait to move somewhere even if it is just 20 miles down the road. Something about change puts my mind at ease.
Moving out has been a good change but I hope the sense of change, and always wanting to move ceases when I get older. I know I won’t always want to be on the move. I know I will want to settle down, buy a house, and become a work-a-holic. Maybe have a few kids.
My best friend gets to go off where she wanted to go to school. Now, I know she has thought about coming home, but she is strong and has stayed where she is. Maybe I envy her, for being able to move hundreds of miles away from home. Maybe, at the end of the day, I don’t actually like the life I am living. Maybe, I am looking for something bigger.
Recently I have realized, every action and decision we have made has put us where we are today. Every action and decision we will make will put us where we will be in the future. Just because your life is different or because you may wish for that college experience that you seem to be missing does not mean that what you are experiencing now is not worthy. Embrace what you are doing right now. You are doing what is best for you. Don’t take what you have for granted. Yes, you may become jealous of those in college that don’t have to worry about bills, how many hours they work, or are thriving. Social media shows the highlight reels of other’s lives, people show what they want to show. Love your life, prosper, learn, and thrive. Don’t always wish something was different, because then you will lose the experience and memories you are living through right now.