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Save Yourself From Toxic People

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at ODU chapter.

Have you ever had a moment where you looked around and you didn’t like what you saw? Think about it, have you ever been unsatisfied with who you are and who you’re surrounding yourself with? It’s an uneasy feeling that creeps up on you in the pit of your stomach and grabs your attention in the worst way. If you’ve never felt this feeling either you’re an extremely unbothered person or you may not have taken the time to genuinely look. The day I took a deeper look at who I was surrounding myself around and how I was being affected, I was disturbed.

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The people I once deemed as my friends, and even some family members, were preventing my growth. I was unable to be my best self when in the presence of these people. The more I thought, the more I realized that I would never fulfill my purpose if I were to stay where I was. In that moment, I decided that acknowledging that something had to change was not enough. I forced myself to reevaluate my friends and I realized two very important things; I wasn’t receiving the love and support I was giving freely and authentic friends encourage growth, not prevent it. So, the removing of anyone and letting go of anything that was not for me began in full throttle.

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When I distanced myself my ‘friends’ asked me why I was acting different and it was because I was different. I am different. Instead of these people looking at my growth and being happy for me they shaded me. I suppose no one ever told them that it is alright to change your mind about someone. If you never change your perspective how do you expect to get a different outcome? Yes, in the beginning, it was tough to let go of some of the people I really thought would be by my side forever, but it does get easier. I believe that what sparked my evolution was a quote by Alex Elle that reads, “Once I folded back the layers I understood that loving myself meant letting them go”. I have never related to something so intensely.

In changing, you have to not only be willing to let those unhealthy people go but the habits that came along with them as well. Everyone has their own definition of what is unhealthy and that is totally fine, but to be healthy should look almost the same for the many of us. What being healthy means to me is to be at peace and in good spirits mentally, physically, and spiritually. I was not at peace with those that were once in my life and that did not sit well with me whatsoever. Protecting your peace, cleansing your space, and ridding of toxicity does not deem you as insincere. Doing what is best for you keeps you genuine to the only person who should really matter and that is you.

Those who are meant to be in your life will come with ease and will never cause you to think twice about them. Whoever is not for you, let them go. If I had not done so I would be miserable, unmotivated, and content. One of the worst things you could ever be is content with where you are. There is always something that could use improvement so continue to work on you. Trust me, it is totally fine to be a masterpiece and a work-in-progress all at the same time. Always remember that you owe yourself the same love, respect, joy, and encouragement that you give everyone else!