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3 Healing Tools for Your Heart and Mind After Friendship Breakups

Updated Published
Briyah Fuller Student Contributor, Old Dominion University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at ODU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

Friendships and their break ups

As humans, we are born with an inclination toward relationships. As we find our way in the world, we are met with individuals with whom we share things in common with. It feels good when you find your people and are able to experience life with them in a multitude of ways. The saying “there’s someone out there for everybody” isn’t solely based on romantic relationships, it’s platonic as well.

Building relationships and incorporating someone into your life based on favorite books, movies, and hobbies is great. Spending quality time as simple as errand runs with someone is a beautiful way to implement socialization into your life. As the friendship continues to progress, you may introduce them to your other friends, family, and social media pages. But sometimes miscommunication, drama or unnecessary fights can cause friendships to falter in an instant. 

The idea of friendship breakups is very destabilizing. It’s normal to feel sad, anxious and even mad during or after the process. Many want to be the bigger person to the public and say that the breakup was amicable, but deep down, the situations tend to be deeper. Due to this, individuals might say that romantic relationship breakups are easier to deal with than friendship breakups, because friendships are rooted in much more than a single purpose.

Tools to Heal

It’s time to reflect and stop with the “what ifs.” In these situations, it’s important to remind yourself to stop dwelling on the past. Yes, it is necessary to dig deeper into your vulnerable feelings, but to constantly berate yourself with questions like, “was this my fault?” “am I a good friend?” or “should I reach out and apologize?” are negative responses to the situation that are only going to trouble your mental health. To heal from the situation, positivity in your life is crucial.

Journaling about your experience or speaking about it can help you express yourself without any judgement. Never keep your feelings inside, letting them go leads to self-growth. Journaling will also help you to keep track of your mood. Over time, this tool will show you how you are growing from this situation.

It might be challenging to recognize the positive aspects that you have within yourself when you are faced with negative circumstances. To counter this, surround yourself with individuals who are similar to you; others are able to recognize and even express what they love in us, even when we don’t. Friends, family, and even pets count as sources who make you feel worthy. 

Start solo dating. One of the best things you can do for yourself is actively spending time with yourself. Going out on your own time and engaging in activities that you enjoy will fulfill you. Get your favorite coffee, go book shopping, or go out to lunch. Do everything that makes you feel good on your own and that can allow you to be your most authentic self. 

After this time of self-discovery, give yourself some grace and remember that when you’re ready, stay open to new connections because you have put in the work for new and fulfilling friendships.

Briyah Fuller is currently a senior at Old Dominion University, pursuing a major in English with a concentration in Technical Writing and minors in Community Health and Communications. Originally from Virginia Beach, Virginia, Briyah is passionate about reading and maintaining an active lifestyle through fitness.