“She was never quite ready. But she was brave, and the universe listens to brave.”
Rebecca Ray
1. It does not get easier
Life changes and morphs, in some ways for the better, in other ways worse. Do not expect perfection or an easier life. Instead, expect to be able to handle anything that comes at you. It may sound corny, I know, but still incredibly, indisputably true.
2. You got to keep up with yourself before you keep up with anything else
You can be the best basketball player, daughter, or friend, but if you aren’t keeping tabs on what is fueling or draining to you, you’ll eventually crash and not know where to begin to put the pieces back together. Remember to upkeep yourself. Pay attention to your habits and avoidances so you can help your future self and the ones who care for you.
3. You will have to do stuff you don’t like, but it makes you stronger
I don’t just mean work. I mean watching your boyfriend’s YouTube video on airplanes. It’s small, but it matters, and it doesn’t kill you. Play the game with your little brother and circle stores with your mom. Suck it up and nod along because you would want someone to do it for you.
4. Patience wins almost every time
Crashing out feels freeing in the moment, and sometimes even in the long term you feel vindicated and strong. But it honestly isn’t worth what it does to your body. You may not notice it now, but that tension of losing control, of blowing off the handle settles in you like a dark spot on a banana. And it’s just not worth it.
5. It’s super cool to be uncool
Cliche…yes. But I love doing whatever the hell I like and could care less who gets it. Enjoy doing your thing and don’t other yourself because of it.
6. Only be around people you actually like
Simple as that. Don’t give yourself away to people you don’t like. It’s utterly draining.
7. Make an effort to see your family
Everyone has holdbacks or some tension with their families, but for the people you can tolerate or the relationships that can be healed, try. Life is incredibly short and unpredictable, and once they are gone, there is no rewriting your story with them.
8. Learning to do nothing is hard
If you’re anything like me, you’re restless. Really try to just stare at paint dry sometimes. Find comfort in the nothing. It’s good for the mind.
9. Finish what you start, even if it’s messy
I’m working overtime on this one. But you don’t have to be the best to do something you’re interested in. You just have to do it, and you have to do it badly.
10. I’m not going to fold my laundry
I’ve been on this earth for a little while now, and maybe twice in all that time have I dried my clothes and then immediately folded and put them up. It’s just not gonna happen, champ. So find a system that gets them off your bed, chair, or couch.
11. Having a bedtime actually improves your life
I am always crying about waking up early and not having enough time to do anything. It’s because I sleep until noon even if I went to bed early. Don’t be like me and set a wake-up time even when you have nothing to do, so you literally have more time, you doofus. You’ll be tired when you wake up of course, but you’ll survive.
12. Stay active
The biggest regret of my late twenties is gaining a lot of weight, thinking I could drop it like I used to in high school. Girl, it’s not happening. I have to work three times as hard with a schedule that’s three times as full, so just take care of your body now so that in the future you can relax.
13. Just because you stopped spending a band at Sephora doesn’t mean you’re budgeting
I stopped having shopping sprees at some clothing and makeup stores and started balling out at Marshalls and Harris Teeter. Girl, you don’t need five different types of cheeses in your house at all times. Relax and reel it back in.
14. Don’t get a dog
I love my dogs, but if you want to be spontaneous in your twenties, getting a dog really stops that. You really have to make sure you’re semi-settled or have a reliable person to care for your pets if you decide to do anything that requires being away for extended periods of time.
15. Love has a cost
Falling in love is amazing, but it can cost who you are. Not necessarily in a bad way or good way, but there is a cost. You are now the product of the influence of someone who is always around you. Consider this before you move in with someone.
16. Sometimes you are wrong, like, dead wrong
Now this has never happened to me, but y’all be wrong, dead wrong. Work on that.
17. Be ambitious and never let comfortability keep you from trying something
You’ll get a stable job or finally get the apartment you wanted, but don’t let that accomplishment make you feel bound to what you have. You can always change, want more, or want different. You’ll have it again and maybe even better, so don’t stifle yourself.
18. You die alone, so live the way that makes you happy
It’s just you at the end of the day, bud. Make sure your life reflects you and not the things the others around you want or what your environment creates for you.
19. Sobriety is cool
I probably lost about five years of my life to drugs, and now being sober, I realized that the high was not nearly as good as soberly getting in clean sheets and watching Steven Universe.
20. You gotta let people be who they are
Once you notice who someone is, you cannot change them. No amount of reasoning or convincing will. You either accept them or you don’t, but it’s not fair to expect them to change for you.
21. Some days you’ll be tired, and that’s okay
Tiredness is temporary. Getting this money is forever. This goes back to number 11.
22. Eat a bag of veggies with dinner
This single-handedly took my veggie intake from tomatoes on a burger to Jolly Green Giant status. Just get the steamables and toss it on the side of any meal, you’ll feel like an adult.
23. Find something, anything to believe in
God, your dog, a friend, it doesn’t matter. Just have faith in something. It grounds you when you’re floating.
24. Have more than one pair of shoes
Still figuring this one out with my size 11 feet, but I can now proudly say I own at least four pairs of shoes just in case I have something interesting to do.
25. Try your best at anything you put your name on
As you get older, you’ll realize the things you do matter more because they are a literal reflection of you. When you’re younger, it doesn’t matter as much because you’re still figuring everything out. But once you get to the “This is my report” stage in your life, make sure it’s goo
26. Relax
Literally just chill out. Life is going to happen either way, so chill out. You can’t be prepared for everything, but you can fortify yourself to handle anything.
I don’t have it figured out, and honestly, writing this made me realize how many of these I’m still actively failing at. But that’s kind of the point. Twenty-six looks a lot less like arrival and a lot more like being mid-sentence, and I think I’m okay with that, and you should be too.