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What Your Wetherspoons Order Says About You

Wetherspoons is a classic student destination for a cheap pint, but what does your Wetherspoon’s beverage of choice say about you?

Carlsberg– no faffing around with any exotic tipples, you just want your usual pint and probably some ready salted crisps to go with it. Essentially you’re just a bit dull.

Strongbow– you’re not at Reading Festival anymore.

Guinness– Ordered only by the alpha of the pack. You’ve had a long and respectable history of drinking in pubs and Guinness is the badge you have earnt from it. Backed up by years of experience, its intense, bitter flavour cannot intimidate you.

John Smith’s– Once a Guinness drinker but you’ve let yourself go.

Wine– you’re trying to look classy- and you will for about an hour- until you’re onto your fourth glass and are screaming across the pub about how you think JLS were cheated out of first place on X Factor in 2008.

Carling– your aim is to get mildly bevved in the most inexpensive way possible. You’re probably going to throw up on the carpet in a minute.

Corona– you’re in your mid-twenties and are trying to prove that you still have a social life, but this is probably the highlight of your week.

Sol– see Corona

A pitcher– if you are sharing the pitcher between a few people in glasses then you’re probably a sophisticated middle-aged woman having an after-work catch-up. If you are drinking the whole thing through a straw then you’re in your late teens/early twenties. You’re legally old enough to drink but your taste-buds are not old enough to actually appreciate the taste of alcohol, so you’re downing this glorified Fruit Shoot.

Abbot Ale– You’re probably wearing a cardigan and reading a newspaper. You’ve been in the pub all day. You were in the pub all day yesterday. You will probably be in the pub all day tomorrow.

Ruddles– see Abbot Ale…

Craft beer/ale– you’re a cultured individual, venturing into the unknown and willing to try something exotic instead of your usual Carlsberg. Basically you’re trying to show off.

Kronenbourg 1664– You are most likely a 20 year old ‘lad’ who has progressed on from Coronas to order something more respectable, but you’re not quite adult enough to handle a Guinness yet.

Prosecco– you’re not a snob, you ‘re just better than everyone else. Let’s be honest, you’re just trying to pretend that you’re somewhere posher than the local spoons.

Shots– your night has taken a strange and shameful turn. You’re not sure how, but you’ve ended up ordering a Sambuca shot in spoons.

WKD– what are you even doing?

 

Edited by: Tia Ralhan

 

Sources:

http://combiboilersleeds.com/keywords/shots-1.html

http://www.tntmagazine.com/london/best-of-london/londons-best-craft-and-cask-ale-venues

http://www.instyle.com/lifestyle/food-drink/easy-pitcher-cocktail-recipes

https://www.carling.com/check

https://blogs.haverford.edu/celticfringe/2017/02/15/my-goodness-my-guinness/

https://uk.pinterest.com/goldensaintbeer/carlsberg/

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