What first springs to mind when someone declares a “self-care evening” … running a hot bath, digging out the buried skincare and facemask that you leave in the bottom of your draw, just for nights like these… you maybe even start the book you had promised yourself you were going to start 2 months ago, order your favourite food and, perhaps, (energy levels depending) finally tidy your room?!
This is the “self-care” that we sell to ourselves as a once in a blue moon night where anything and everything we want to do, or for that matter don’t want to do, has the green light, as it is all in the name of “self-care” right…. But in reality, this is just not the self-care that we deserve.
Just an incoming side note for everyone because before I go into preaching mode, I for one am not perfect in anyway shape or form, and frankly neither should you, the expectation that you need to be perfect 24/7 100% of the time is just not feasible. We are humans at the end of the day not robots, and this is where my “making self-care non-negotiable” comes in.
Now, I am not completely throwing the idea of a “self-care evening” under the bus, because I love me a “self-care evening”, in fact, the “self-care evening” after your last exam of the exam season just hits so different!! As a matter of fact, it is one of the only things that gets me through the stress of the exam season… there is nothing like that feeling of finishing the last exam and running yourself the hottest bath and just allowing yourself to completely relax… finally!!
However, “self-care” shouldn’t just be one evening. We do not deserve that, we as humans need “acts of self-care”, daily.
Self-care is simple~ it doesn’t have to or need to be complicated, and it is something that I am trying to introduce into my daily-life, and therefore am trying to make a vital part to the survival of my day.
Since my parents left Granada after having been to visit me for a few days whilst on my year abroad, I realised how little I was looking after myself, whether that was not feeding myself balanced healthy meals, not taking or spending anytime with me, or simply just not being patient with myself. It was then that I realised everything I was lacking in my life was “self-care”.
So, for those of you screaming at me right now saying “Amy but what is self-care other than a hot bath and skin care?”, I will give you some ideas as to how I have begun to incorporate “self-care” into my life, because self-care is individual what works for some people may not work for others. But the bottom line is looking after yourself, putting your needs first and prioritising your wellbeing above anything.
All in the name of self-care this week, I have taken myself shopping because when I shop, I am not thinking about upcoming deadlines, I am purely thinking about how I can upgrade my wardrobe… I have bought myself tarot cards, crystals, essential oils…. I have allowed myself to watch Gilmore Girls every evening, and if I do not want to go out, I do not go out… I have allowed myself to cry, to be sad, because it may sound ridiculous but allowing yourself to have the space to feel whatever it is that you feel is “self-care”, it may not be your typical “self-care” but in my opinion it is.
Going forward I am trying to incorporate more and more “self-care” rituals into my life to the point I am protecting my energy, my space so much that it is non-negotiable. Self-care can come in all shapes and forms, for me I am slowly adding these small routines as and when they feel right, and for me right now, what feels most right is patience and taking things slow. Honestly, I am exhausted at the moment and for me, right now “self-care” is not a 5k run every day (if it’s yours, I’m envious but it’s what works for you and that’s all that matters remember), but for me, its learning to be patient, creating a calm working environment, and if I don’t make every class in the week, THAT IS OKAY.
What we need to realise is that “self-care” shouldn’t be something we sacrifice, or postpone, think of “self-care” as a daily deadline- if that helps and, if you need, find people that will help to hold you accountable, or start working on incorporating “self-care” together.
Because “self-care” can look like reading a whole book in one night, going to a Pilates class once or twice a week, taking vitamins, journaling, mediating or even to put it into its simplest form, love… love and compassion for yourself. Learning what works for you is hard, but as long as you incorporate love for yourself every day, you might not think it, but that is “self-care”, and these are the “self-care” rituals that we must start prioritising.
Before you know it, you will begin to start unconsciously scheduling “self-care” into your everyday routine, and you will make time for things that make you whole… make you the unique and beautiful person that you are.