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How to Cope in a Long Distance Relationship

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Nottingham chapter.

As you all probably well know, it is not very often that you get to choose who you fall in love with… Whether they’re a serial offender when it comes to leaving dirty dishes in the sink, or simply whistle way too much, if they’re worth the extra washing up (and the partial deafness) then you stick it out. But what about if they live hundreds of millions of miles away? What then?

Possibly the hardest part is forgetting what it’s like when you’re physically together, how that makes you feel, and why it makes you want to be with them at all. A great way to counter this problem is to write it down, and have a read through every time you feel like you’re forgetting something. You can write about what it’s like waking up next to them, their little morning quirks, or even how they brush their teeth. The point is to write down anything that reminds you of being with them and the little things that make them special to you.

When you’ve been apart for a while, it is easy to get caught up in your own independent lives and not put the time in for each other. After a while, you will begin to doubt your feelings purely because you haven’t had much contact in so long. Make sure you make time for each other, even when you have a million other things to do or even just don’t really feel like talking to them. If your relationship is worth it, then you will never finish a call with them feeling worse than you did before you called them! If you have nothing to say to each other, then watch a film together – it’s about spending time together, whether you’re talking or not, and feeling appreciated.

Even the mundane parts of your day will mean something to someone who loves you, so share it. Tell them what you ate for lunch or ask them about their day; however insignificant it may seem. It will make you feel so much more involved in each other’s daily lives and like you haven’t missed out on as much when you’re back together. Sharing everything like this is also a great way to combat any worries about trust as well – by telling them everything, you take away the fear of the unknown like “Who is that guy in that photo with my girlfriend on Facebook?!”. Nobody needs that drama.

A great way to get through your time apart is to work towards your time together. When you call each other, make plans about trips you might want to take or people you might want to see. Sharing a common goal (i.e. reaching this time together) is a great way to make you feel closer by helping you to realise your shared interests, as well as making you feel appreciated!

Even though you’re miles apart, there will still be times when you want space from each other. Don’t panic text them a million and one times if they don’t reply within two hours (we’ve all done it…) because what’s a good relationship without trust, anyhow? If you’re communicating well, generally, the odd few hours of no contact here and there won’t do you any harm, you just have to trust that they wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.

As I said before, when you’ve been apart for a while, it can be difficult to remember everything that is amazing about the time that you have spent together in the past. You want them to feel secure and happy in the relationship too, so thinking of ways to make them feel that is always important, even if it’s just telling them you miss them carrying your food shopping! Remember that words aren’t everything – send them a little present if you know they’ve had a rough time to show that you care, and want to be there for them as much as you can be!

Every relationship has its issues and its quirks. If you enter into a long distance relationship with an open mind, patience and a willingness to work your butt off to keep each other happy, then you’re well on your way to making it work!

Edited by: Amy Hawthorne







Student at the University of Nottingham studying English and French. Spending a year in France doing sport, sailing and marketing.
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