- Come home.
I spent the first few months of first year believing the mantra that not going home until reading week would cure my homesickness. This is not true. I spent the first few months of second year going home whenever I wanted to and was far happier for it. Do not pay any attention to how often your flatmates are going home, or how often I went home, or whether you think you have the time to go home. Enjoy the full fruit bowl and the fresh bedding and the quiet; come home whenever you want.
2. You’re probably not as poor as you think.
Part of why I missed home so much was that I was grieving the material privileges entwined with my sense of being at home. I felt the absences of homemade brownies, cookie dough ice cream, a garage full of fruit juices, and mum’s insistent supply of at least five different kinds of cheese. In trying to save money I was giving myself more things to miss. Budgeting is important, but if you make your kitchen feel more like mum’s (buy some herbs, flour, custard, and chocolate spread – heck even get some goats cheese if you fancy) then it might help you miss mum and her kitchen a little less. Being sad because you don’t have any yoghurts in the fridge is probably symptomatic of a larger sadness around growing up and being responsible, but if you buy some Muller Corner’s then at least you can be sad with good gut-bacteria.
3. Don’t tumble dry everything.
I did this for a whole year before I realised that I wasn’t just gaining weight and that my clothes were in fact shrinking. Things we can for sure tumble dry: socks, knickers, tea towels, bedding, towels. Things we for sure do not tumble dry: bras, tights, tee-shirts, jumpers. Inbetween: jeans (tumble dry if you want to tighten them). If in doubt read the label (ask mum).
4. Hello tutors.
Find out when your tutors’ office hours are and go and see them. My own humble English department (not sponsored) have a list of all of their staff office hours online. This does not just have to be the week before deadlines and exams. Emailing in advance will encourage commitment, and, at least for my course, if I’m reading a book and listening to lectures knowing that I’m going to go to office hours then I find myself questioning and engaging far deeper with a text than I would bother to otherwise (I think that’s kind of reverse engineering the purpose of office hours but hey ho).
5. Say no.
Do not take up every opportunity that comes your way. You do not need to volunteer and be part of society and go to socials and the gym and parties and nights out. You don’t even need to join in with the flat game of monopoly if you won’t want to. Don’t feel that you need to grab hold of everything that university purports to offer by saying yes to everything. You will be the only person who remembers when you did something that you didn’t want to do.
6. Sort out your priorities (this is a Harry Potter reference; look it up).
Emphasis on your. Academic work, a social life, societies, volunteering, student networks, sports (cough rock-climbing cough). You get to choose what matters to you. Everyone plays this game differently- often guided by where you are the happiest or have the most fun. So, go climb those rocks girl.
7. Be a nerd.
Unabashedly. I used to (I still do) look up ‘Nottingham University Access Plans’ to find out where my lecture and seminar rooms are within their buildings. Email lecturers to ask for PowerPoints/clarification/meetings. Book an appointment with the careers team in year one just because you can. Say, ‘I don’t really like clubbing’ if you don’t really like clubbing. Shamelessly declare yourself (no one really cares anyway).
8. Live so that in three years’ time you can write one of these lists.