I decided to write this article in response to an incident this week which unfortunately many of you reading will recognise. As I was walking along a main road, a truck drove past with the windows down and a guy shouted “Alright darlin’!”. As catcalling goes, that’s obviously pretty tame, but it got me thinking: just why? Why do some men feel as though they can shout whatever they want at women? Why do they want to? It happened on a busy main road: people saw and yet no-one really flinched. Frustrated and embarrassed, I later told the story to my friend, but before I could even finish another van went past and honked its horn at both of us. Perfect timing. Catcalling confuses me for so many reasons. Firstly, what on earth is achieved from yelling out the window of a moving vehicle? It’s certainly not my name or number because your Vauxhall Corsa was just going too fast, bae.
What do these guys say to each other directly after shrieking that they’d like to ‘be my jeans’? “I’m glad I said that to her in a vastly inappropriate way, she’ll be so grateful!” as they swagger into Spoons? I doubt it.
The problem is not just with these frequent incidents of harassment (yes, that’s what it’s called lads). It’s the fact that women in general have come to just accept it. Ignore it and keep on walking. Feel embarrassed but just try to get away, rather than calling them out and starting anymore unpleasantness. It’s ridiculous that something as mundane as walking down the street can become an uneasy experience all because these losers think they have the right to objectify and degrade women.It starts young too. According to a poll in The Telegraph, 90% of women experience street harassment before they even turn 17. Girls grow up expecting this kind of behaviour from men in public. If you’ve grown up with it, then it becomes normalised and less likely to change. You may even stop noticing or caring just how often it happens, which is a hugely dangerous message to send to younger generations.
For anyone still thinking the dreaded “yeah but what were you wearing?” question, you’re automatically making it the victim’s fault rather than whoever catcalled. If my skirt is short, if my top is low, if I was butt naked with a neon sign around my neck, it is nobody’s business and certainly not an invitation for harassment – although 10/10 would not recommend being butt-naked on the streets guys, it’s still quite cold outside.
People can mistake the comments as coming from a place of respect. After all, how many times have you told someone about catcalling and the response been “take it as a compliment!”? Maybe the group of men queueing to get into Lloyds Bar thought my dress would look better on their bedroom floor because they were wondering where they could get one similar one. Unlikely. Because if they honestly think it is coming from a respectful place, then why don’t men tell other men to smile.Unfortunately, there’s no universally perfect way to react. You can either ignore and walk away feeling frustrated, or you can yell back and risk a confrontation. Both to me are unsatisfying, yet sadly are basically the extent of the options.
However, next time it happens to you and you’re feeling brave, simply turn round with big eyes and say “Dad?”. I can almost guarantee they’ll think twice before doing it again.
Edited by Sarah Holmes
Image sources:
http://mashable.com/2013/06/13/rage-gifs/#rLiLOzxQkPqM
http://www.bustle.com/articles/97065-do-you-respond-to-catcalling-23-wom…
https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/2nvcl4/xpost_from_rcreepy_animalistic_man_in_kuwaiti/
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