Everyone has emotions, and everyone has garbage. This fact can be miserable at times, but it doesn’t make it any less true. Sometimes your choices elicit emotions, and other times the choices of others draw them out. For instance, it is entirely up to you to watch videos of soldiers coming home, and that decision will (unless you are a robot person) make you weepy. However, if a person decides to cancel the dinner plans you’ve been planning for weeks, or your professor writes less-than-constructive criticism on you paper, the disappointment and/or rage you feel may be out of your hands.
Garbage is similar. You can choose to actively pick up litter, or you could eat a candy bar and be forced to deal with the wrapper, even though disposing of the wrapper was never your intention when buying the candy (or perhaps it was, in which case disregard that allegory). Basically, the etiology of your emotions and your garbage is not relevant – the important thing is what you do after you have them.
Imagine you are walking to class and have just finished the last mouthwatering, perfect bite of your candy bar, and the only things you have left are sticky fingers and a dirty wrapper. You see a trash can a few yards away, but you’d have to walk out of your way to reach it and throw the wrapper away. The thought of doing this is not particularly enticing, seeing how it is both inconvenient and physically taxing. So, you walk on in ignorance, assuming that somewhere along your path you’ll find a more convenient place to deal with your garbage.
In the meantime, you might try and ball up, stuff away, and hide the wrapper. Meanwhile, the hypothetical trash can you’re waiting for may pop up in five minutes or five months. The longer you walk without dealing with your garbage, the more garbage you accumulate, until finally it all becomes so heavy it crushes you.
As you may have guessed by now, this process describes more than just garbage. If your life is busy and stressful, like that of a college student or a dining hall stir-fry cook, it seems preferable to defer dealing with your emotions until a better time. The problem, however, is that a “better” time may never come. By waiting to confront your emotions, you’re letting them pile up and weigh you down, making you feel worse than if you had just addressed them immediately.
Although it’s usually uncomfortable, time-consuming, and inconvenient, addressing your emotions when they appear is the best way to prevent a future emotional crisis. No one is is made of steel (except maybe Chris Hemsworth), and no one is expected to always have it together. So chat with someone who will listen, write in a journal, or just sit and think about what’s been weighing on you. It might be hard to let go, but it beats feeling like an emotional dumpster. Just remember – not all emotions are garbage, but it still feels good to throw them away sometimes.
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