Ahhh, finally. After months of hard work studying for exams, writing papers, and crying over lab reports, summer is almost here. Time to relax, soak up the sun, and maybe actually read a book that isn’t for a class. (Remember when you used to do that for fun?)
Your summer sounds great until your peers start talking about their fancy internships and research opportunities. But fear not! There are plenty of ways to make your summer sound much more impressive than it actually is.
1. “I’m shadowing for a few different jobs.”
Grey’s Anatomy, Parks and Recreation, and The Office will teach you well. Hey, maybe even Breaking Bad has some quality advice regarding choice in careers.
Say “hey” to your new career counselors.
2. “I’m training for a marathon.”
….a Netflix marathon, amiright? Just be sure to focus on how you’ll be changing your diet (to popcorn and popsicles), pacing yourself (only a season a day), and will persevere (kept watching) even when you really needed to pee.
In Netflix we trust.
3. “I’m starting research for my sociology thesis.”
So you’re stuck working in the mall this summer. At least it’s a great place to people watch. As long as your paper is about the subculture of 13-15 year old mall-rats loitering everywhere or elderly, early morning “mall walkers,” this one might be legitimate.
The mall is the natural environment of the mopey teen.
4. “I’m going to pick up some Spanish.”
More and more shows are starting to feature Spanish-speaking characters, so if you’re hashing through Orange is the New Black (new season in June!) or Daredevil, there’s a chance you’ve learned at least a few words in the language. If you’re watching Daredevil, you might even learn a few words of Russian! Probably not, but it’s possible (Yes, there is a trend with spending a lot of quality time with Netflix.).
Hispanic ladies of Orange is the New Black
5. “I’m helping out with a presidential campaign.”
Okay, so maybe your version of “campaigning” consists of reblogging a couple “I’m Ready for Hillary” (or Bernie Sanders, or Ted Cruz, or Rand Paul, or whoever) posts on your Tumblr or sharing them on Facebook, but you’re still technically part of the cause!
Not an official endorsement.
6. “I’m joining the Avengers.”
Good on you girl, the squad needs another female presence. (If you’re one of our male readers, sorry.) It’s not like they can really disprove it; maybe you’ve been a S.H.I.E.L.D agent this entire time, and now you’ve gone rogue? You’ll have to come up with your own tragic backstory, I can’t do all the work for you.
You can even fake very convincing photographic evidence.
If none of these appeal to you, you could always just tell the truth. There’s no shame in using summer break as, well, a break. Maybe you’re working at the mall near your house or babysitting, or swearing off work all together; there’s nothing wrong with that! And your supposedly more impressive friends will probably be jealous that you had time to rest.
Then again, trying to convince everyone you joined an elite superhero team would probably be fun…
Have a great summer, y’all!
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