We all try our hardest to avoid it. We work and work yet somehow it’s always there looming over us. Yes, I am talking about the dreaded all nighter. The days where the procrastination train hit us hard or mountain of work in the corner seems more daunting than usual, it’s one of those days that just somehow spins out of control.
It’s not healthy by any means, nor do I ever condone doing it. But sometimes the inevitable happens, and you fall slowly down the hill of madness that results in an all-night inner monologue that sounds a little like this:
1. The “Okay, if I get this done by three I’ll get five hours of sleep” Stage
Oh, how the hope still seems bright at this point. The coffee you had three hours ago is still somehow in your system, but sleep is one of the main thoughts in your mind. You know, minute by minute, the amount of sleep you’ll get is getting smaller – but the potential A on the exam seems too tempting to not study a bit more.2. The “Okay, three hours of sleep” Stage
How I love the feeling of denial early in the morning. The scene: Your roommate is soundly sleeping in the corner, so any noise you make sounds like a freight train. Papers are spread out across your desk, shuffling madly through all 100 of them just to find one crucial piece of information. At this point you know that, regardless of sleep, tomorrow is going to be a rough day.3. The “Maybe I can squeeze in an hour” Stage
While trying to mentally prepare yourself for the potential of not getting sleep, the desperation for even a small amount of sleep grows astronomically. At this point, you wish you had a time turner so you could tell your child-self to enjoy that nap – or to just turn back time to be able to sleep. You know, whichever you want.4. The “I guess no sleep is happening” Stage
After having the realization that your bed will be lonely, you start to count the hours until you can possibly take a nap, and how long it’s been since you woke up yesterday morning.5. The “*has a mini self pep talk at 5 in the morning*” Stage
The delusion might be real, but the extra three hours of studying, you convince yourself, really helped you understand the material. Channel your inner Beyoncé, you’re flawless.6. The “Coffee coffee coffee” Stage
You could argue this goes across all stages, but, for your sanity and the sake of others, coffee is a necessity. Need I explain more?7. The “Maybe if I dance around a little bit, it’ll wake up my inner Taylor Swift and I won’t fall asleep” Stage
The caffeine from the coffee starts to mildly kick in as quiet pitter patter fills the room from your feet wildly hitting the floor. Depending on how easily your roommate wakes up (or if you’re blessed with a single), you might be in the hallway practicing your cha-cha slide, risking eternal embarrassment just to make it through another hour or so.8. The “Okay it’s 7 am, time to be where the people are” Stage
At this point, your roommate is awake and is legitimately horrified and concerned at your no sleep status. Might as well get dressed and maybe even get breakfast at the dining hall.9. The “I look like I got hit by a truck and dragged for eight miles but that’s fine, everything’s fine” Stage
Hair brushed haphazardly, pretty sure you forgot deodorant. Just a few things that cross your mind while walking around, almost surely convinced people are staring at you because the lack of sleep must be so obvious, right?10. The “I just have to make it through the exam, then I can take a nap. I can do this” Stage
It feels like false confidence, but every little bit helps. Nodding off slightly as the sentences in your notes turn into blurs. After that, you figure it useless to try and cram thirty minutes before the exam, so your trek to your exam room (bless your soul if it’s all the way across campus).11. The “I can’t do this” Stage
12. The “I can do this!” Stage
13. The “I wonder how many people in this room have pulled all nighters like me” Stage
Walking into the room, you look around, desperately hoping to see a sea of zombie like figures. Instead, a crowd of people who seem to have it together stare back at you.14. The “Oh I really shouldn’t have pulled an all nighter” Stage
Two minutes until go time, and the doubt monsters creeps into your mind. The time that your mom told you that science said that sleep is better than staying up to study haunts your mind, as you see the professor hand out the exam.15. The “Somehow I made it and I’m alive” Stage
The end has come – the sun has risen. The Rocky theme song plays in your head as you hand in your exam and leave the auditorium. You’ve done the impossible.16. The “Now it’s time for the longest nap ever known to man” Stage
You’re too busy taking a nap to finish reading this.
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