When I opened Tiktok over the holidays this year, I was bombarded with countless people listing their “Ins” and “Outs” for 2024. In other words, people were sharing things they are striving for more of or embracing in the new year and others they are avoiding or trying to leave in 2023.
For example, “Ins” I’ve seen listed on my For You Page include “self care nights,” “spending time in nature,” and “protecting your peace.” “Outs,” on the other hand, include “diet culture,” “procrastinating,” and “people pleasing.” These lists vary greatly, but they focus on a similar idea: honing in on the things that bring you joy and intentionally removing the things that don’t.
Personally, I love this trend. I love the idea of a new year bringing a fresh start — an opportunity to alter aspects of your life to maximize your happiness. This is an idea that has long manifested in New Year’s resolutions, but I find focusing on “Ins” and “Outs” to be much more helpful.
When I think of New Year’s resolutions, my mind jumps to ways people try to “better” themselves for the new year, such as new diets, exercise regimes, and sleep schedules. This kind of resolution isn’t inherently harmful; if someone wants to make a healthy change to their life, the new year can be great motivation to get started. However, these resolutions can also fuel diet culture, unrealistic beauty standards, and lofty expectations for what a “healthy” life looks like.
In reality, New Year’s resolutions usually don’t work. According to VeryWellMind, 90% of resolutions don’t last more than a couple of months because people try to make too-big changes too quickly, don’t fully understand why they’re trying to make the change, and aren’t actually willing to sustain that change. The article suggests creating a series of smaller, more attainable goals instead of one sweeping one at the start of the year.
There is often societal pressure to make New Year’s resolutions. When I hear almost everyone around me chattering about their plans to eat, work out, study, sleep, and live differently in the new year, what I really hear is that I need to alter my own life to keep up. But the truth, which I’ve finally realized this year, is that trying to make any of these changes is not going to create a long-lasting improvement in my life.
Again, to each their own — I respect those making healthy changes in their lives like the ones I listed above — but the reality is that for myself and many others, focusing on these things might not be truly healthy. My own goals for the new year are to take more time to relax, to be more present when I’m with people I love, and to be kinder to myself.
The trend of “Ins” and “Outs” is much more conducive to gradual, mindset-oriented goals than the norm of New Year’s resolutions. It emphasizes the importance of recognizing the good in our lives, including celebrating the little things like hot showers and pasta. Likewise, it helps us weed out the things that don’t improve our happiness.
As I enter the new year, I’m not going to be making any dramatic changes to my life. Rather, I’m going to intentionally seek out the things that make me happy and strive for more of them.