Trigger warning: this article talks about suicide and depression. If you suffer with these issues, please proceed with caution.
While I have many reservations about the hype of the new Netflix series 13 Reasons Why, it does bring to light some really important issues we often fail to talk about: how to tell if a friend or loved one is suicidal, and the right questions and answers to give that person in order that you might prevent him or her from causing self-harm. Unlike what 13 Reasons Why portrays, suicide is not always associated with specific causes, and rather often has much more to do with treatable mental disorders that can have a drastically negative effect on you or your friends’ mental health. While there are a lot of deep nuances to suicide, YourLifeCounts.org has laid out some really specific tips that can help you stop a friend’s suicide before it happens.
Recognize the symptoms
Suicidal thoughts indicate potential for suicide. If a friend who already seems withdrawn offhandedly mentions to you that they “could just kill themselves,” they might actually mean it. Moreover, a friend mentioning feelings of purposelessness and anxiety could signify suicidal thoughts. On the other side of things, recklessness, drastic mood changes and substance abuse could be other signs of potentially suicidal thoughts. To learn more about potential symptoms, read here.
Know What You Should Say
According to YourLifeCounts.org, if you think a close friend might be suicidal, sometimes it is a good idea to straight up ask them, “Are you having suicidal thoughts?” If they tell you that they are, take them seriously! It is important also to express empathy for their situation; if you’ve felt similarly before (and even if you haven’t), just letting them know they aren’t alone could help tremendously. Let your friend know you care and want to help; many suicidal thoughts can come from a feeling of intense loneliness. Another important thing you can do is offer a sense of relief – tell your friend that suicidal thoughts may come from a treatable mental disorder. This could help them feel like they have more control over their own thoughts and actions if they know there is a tangible way to help them out there. Finally, you can let your friend know that suicidal thoughts are more common than they might think. They aren’t crazy, and it doesn’t mean they have to commit the act, it just means their suffering is more universal than they think.
If it’s Getting Serious
Ask about their plans – do they know how they’d do it? When? Where? The more concrete the plan, the more serious your friend might be at risk. Even if they don’t answer these questions, your friend may still be at risk. The best thing you can do to protect them is to have a plan in action to have someone stay with them at all times. If they are ever alone, it is an opportunity to end their life. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) is always available, and can help you talk to a friend in need, or they can talk directly with your friend.
Recently, campus hasn’t felt as safe from tragedy as we can hope, but suicide is sometimes a preventable tragedy, and if we know the signs, hopefully we can help contribute to the mental well-being of this campus and anyone you may know who is considering thoughts of suicide. Please take this knowledge to help a friend in need to the best of your ability – you never know how much good you can do until you do it.