Dear 2013 me,
Congrats! You’ve made significant progress in your education and now you can kick off the rest of your life! I know you’re terrified, but you’ve got a lot of growing up ahead of you. You are quickly going to become a new person, and you should be proud. Who you are now is nothing like who you’ll be in a few years.
First off, your hair grew and surprise, surprise, it’s your natural color. Thankfully, you’ve become smart enough not to bleach your hair since your scene-girl phase. Each month at New Paltz you have gotten less and less scene, so pat yourself on the back and shed a single tear.
I know you’re pissed that you got stuck in the last orientation session, but you’re going to meet your person, your best friend, and compadre for life. Just because you’re close with some people freshman year, doesn’t mean it will be like that forever. The people that are with you from beginning to end are the special ones. Don’t feel guilty when people grow in different directions. Never be bitter. Always look back at memories with fondness.
You’ll get to know who makes you smile when you’re cracked out writing a paper, what you like to snack on at 5 Am, and your favorite past times (HAPPY HOUR!). You’ll learn how to be healthy, and choose not to be.
Don’t feel like you can’t measure up to the people around you– you’re a pretty cool chick. You won’t hate your body forever. There’s going to be days where you feel like you can’t wear anything besides your star wars blanket over your whole body. You will have your soul mates that will literally dress you, and make you go out and have the time of your life. In time you’ll learn what skinny jeans make your thighs look best, and how to position your ‘skinny arm’ perfectly in photos to feel confident when looking at them the next day.
You’ll be happy, but not every single day. I promise your worst days are nothing like right now. Pull yourself out of bed, throw on a backless shirt and let loose with your squad– but don’t be afraid to stay under that star wars blanket, you might need it.
Destructive behavior will catch up to you if you let it. Stop using venting on Tumblr as therapy, people you actually know will read it and worry– use a notebook, it’s simpler. Don’t be embarrassed of who you used to be, all progress has a beginning.
Never be too proud to apologize, but only apologize when you’re wrong. Stand up for yourself, and make your voice known. Develop the strength to be uninhibited, and seek success. Disappointment is inevitable, but you still have so much time to become the writer you want to be. You feel like you’re going nowhere, and you’ll feel like that for a while. Don’t shrink your dreams when people laugh at them. Don’t be embarrassed to talk about your major. Wear your passion like armor. Write. Write everyday. Share your work, and bust your ass. You’ll feel like you suck, but you are much better than you believe. Be honest and vulnerable, you’ll be surprised at what comes out of your pen.
Do your laundry. Don’t let it fester just because you still have clean clothes to wear. Letting it sit for that long is gross, but you’ll wait anyway to avoid walking up and down three flights of stairs to the laundry room. Buy a smaller hamper for next year (or the next).
You’ll stay close with your high school crew freshman year. If anything, you’ll get closer, but don’t be upset when things change. High School isn’t forever, and thank God for that. Growth is expected, but don’t forget where you came from or the people who helped you before you could help yourself.
Get a job. You are an irresponsible spender. Stop online shopping, and honestly, you should never sign up for Tobi.
Be grateful for your parents. I get it, they’re annoying, and they nag, but they gave up a third of their life dealing with you. You are a pain in the ass, be nice to them. They know a lot, take their advice. There will be nights where you will cry because you haven’t seen your mom, appreciate her while she’s still 50 feet away. Apologize for how you treated her growing up. Try to understand how much Dad struggles and works to make your family happy.
Don’t feel bad when people say you’ve changed, because they’re right. Change is not inherently negative. You’ll say stupid things, and make a lot of mistakes, but don’t make yourself feel like crap about them. Give yourself the ability to learn and make better choices. Step back and see your progress from a distance. Notice your faults, and try to improve.
Most importantly, HAVE FUN! School is important, but so is making the best memories of your life. Soon enough you are going to be jealous of every freshmen, because you wish you had all of that time at the happiest place on earth.
xoxo, Future You