When you first meet someone, and you become friends and slowly start to hang out more frequently than before, think to yourself, “what makes me gravitate toward this person?” Is it the feeling of laughter and joy you have around them? Do they reassure you of something? Are you trying to fill a void? Do you seek comfort from their relationship?
These are all really hard questions to ask yourself as you reflect on the meaning of your relationship with this person or multiple people in your life for a matter of fact.
As an overthinker myself, I try not to always look so deeply into everything I do or every relationship I have all the time, but I do enjoy reflecting on my friendships and how they are serving me because at the end of the day, ultimately, your friendships and the people you surround yourself with are some of the people who are supposed to make you the happiest, build you up to believe in the best version of yourself, and comfort you at your lowest times.
As many authors, poets, and artists have said before, your friends are the family that you choose so make the best family for yourself.
The question I have started to ask myself about the friendships that I hold close to me is…
Do I feel comfortable being vulnerable around this person? Do I feel like my most authentic self when I am with them?
Authenticity is arguably one of the most valuable qualities in a person and a friendship. Because what better feeling is there than not feeling awkward around someone, feeling like you can express yourself truly, fully, and completely?
Are they the person who makes going to the grocery store fun? The person who runs to me when I call them crying. The person who compliments me for no reason. The person I could just sit and talk for hours with without feeling bored. The person who compliments my biggest insecurities. Someone, I don’t feel like I need to “tip-toe” around. Someone who texts me just because they want to, not because they need something. Who picks a flower off the ground to give it to me because they thought it was pretty. Someone that gets more excited for my birthday than I do because they love celebrating you. The person who offers to walk me home to make sure I get back safe. The person who is not trying to compete against me. Someone who truly is just there for you because they care about you. Will they let me obsessively talk about my greatest passions without interrupting me? Do they make my values feel heard and understood?
I am not going to sit here and tell you what the perfect person or friendship should look like, for each person but who did you think of while reading this? Do you smile at the thought of them?
Whoever they are, hold them tight and tell them you love them today.
Those kinds of people don’t come around very often.
With love,
naty <3