As we get older and our lives get busier, we forget about the fact that tomorrow is not guaranteed. Our daily routines, plans, and obligations consume us and we often times forget to check in with loved ones. As the daughter of immigrant parents, I know that my parents sacrificed a lot to give us a better life. Moving to a new place is not easy and doing so without your family is even harder. My mom came to the US leaving behind her family in Iran. My brothers and I grew up visiting them every few summers and it lessened as we got older due to life’s obligations and financial reasons. Visiting a foreign land with three kids every summer is not cheap and is not doable for the average American family. During the ‘high’ season, travel is always so much more expensive than it is in the winters; however, in the winters kids have school. So when is the perfect time to visit family?
The last time my mom and I visited my grandfather in Iran was the summer of 2019. It was the best summer I have ever had, and it was so nice being with family for the month we were there. My brothers were now teenagers and according to Iranian law, they were eligible to get drafted for the military there. Many Iranians that live outside of Iran stop taking their sons to visit because of the possible risk of them getting drafted while they are there. My brothers last visited our grandpa in the summer of 2015. My grandpa came and visited us (with the greencard he had due to my mom’s years of dealing with the application process) in 2016. That was the last time my brothers saw him.
After our trip that summer, we knew we had to try and visit every summer because we wanted to be with family more. In the early months of 2020 is when the Covid-19 pandemic hit. All nations were hit hard, but third world nations were especially struggling. We did not visit that summer and every summer after that. We tried to visit in the wintertime of that year, but the pandemic was still ongoing. We then hoped to visit 2021, but that did not happen. We then aimed for the summer of 2022, but then Covid-19 cases had gone back up. We aimed for that winter; the Women, Life, Freedom Movement began there, and it was too risky for us to go. We then aimed for the summer of 2023, but that did not happen either due to so many other reasons. As these years passed, I started college and was having so much fun with friends. The obstacles seemed ongoing. I thought I had so much time with my grandfather because the last I had seen him, he was doing well, but life never allowed it.
This past summer, his health started to decline. We were scared, but then he got better. We all thought everything was fine. My mom was set on going at the end of October and we made plans for her to go. As our fall break came to an end, I was getting ready to head back to Raleigh from Charlotte when we got a call from my cousin that he had passed. That was the worst news I could have ever gotten. How could this happen, when we had facetimed him the day before? How could this happen when my mom was supposed to finally go visit him in just a few weeks? I was in shock. I thought I had so much time left with him.
The past few years consisted of many Facetime calls with him. Thanks to technology, we were able to talk with him here and there. My grandfather was a respected man. He was a Persian literature professor and taught at different universities in Iran, even coming to the US in the 1990s to teach at The University of Texas at Austin. He was also an author, who published many books discussing Persian literature and religion. After losing my grandma 11 years before, my grandpa tried his best to fill her shoes. He loved gardening and owned what in Persian is called a ‘bagh’ which is essentially a piece of land that you can grown different fruits and vegetables on, somewhat like a farm but in the form of a vineyard. He loved that place and loved growing his different fruits. He was the sweetest man and I have so much regret for not being able to see him one last time. I know life is out of my hands; all the obstacles that kept occurring that made it so challenging for us to see him again is something that I will never be able to control. But nonetheless it still upsets me. My mom and grandfather were so close, and I hope my mom does not feel regret.
I know he is so proud of us and everything my brothers and I will accomplish. I just wish he was here to see it happen. His death gave me a reality check that tomorrow is never guaranteed. Everyone always says that but what does it really mean? It means that we should spend time with our loved ones, make efforts to see them, and cherish them. I feel for all the families of immigrants who are thousands of miles apart from their loved ones. This hardship is one that no one should ever have to endure. I wish I grew up with my grandparents and aunts and uncles down the street like the kids I grew up with. But this was not my reality. I am thankful though that I got to know my grandfather and the great man that he was outside of just being that.