Body image refers to how we perceive and feel about the attractiveness of our own body. Although our physical shape seems to be a tangible and objective trait, the reality is that the way we view our body is influenced by society, culture, remarks from others, or our own personal thoughts. In extreme cases, some people are clinically diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) where they are pathologically worried about the flaws they perceive in their appearance.
Although many of us may not have such a disorder, it’s still common to suffer from a negative body image — and this is true for both women and men. It’s extremely difficult to unpack the whole picture of toxic body ideals we encounter today, but in this article, I want to share some quotes that have helped me – and continue to help me – navigate days when I don’t feel great about what (I think) my body looks like.
1. The one about appreciating your body for what it does, not what it looks like
“My eyes can see, my nose can smell / And my lips allow me to smile”
— lyrics from My Beautiful Body by Meg Hargraves
This short yet catchy song written by New Zealander Meg (who is now 20 years old) went viral on TikTok last year. I was touched beyond words when I first came across the song, which expressed simple gratitude towards every part of the writer’s body, from legs to tummy to face.
It felt like such a refreshing perspective, because we’re always so caught up in judging the aesthetics of our body that we forget to appreciate its very basic function – keeping us alive – and the marvellous mechanisms within it that happen without our knowledge, but enable us to have such a rich, wonderful human experience.
Regardless of what physical flaws we think we have, one of the most important things to keep in mind, whenever we find ourselves struggling with body image, is that our body is doing so many already remarkable things. This quote (and song) helped me look beyond my appearance, and be thankful for what my body is capable of.
2. The one about how body image is really subjective
“Body image can change by the day, or even in an instant. This shows that our body isn’t the problem and changing our body isn’t the solution.”
— Post from @no_food_police
This quote resonated with me because it draws attention to the inconsistent and temporary nature of my own perception of my body — and, therefore, how unreliable this perception actually is. More importantly, this quote inspired me to reflect on why I feel okay with my body one day, but not okay the next, and I became more mindful of the thoughts that pop up in my head whenever I experience negative body image. A little exploration into those thoughts would often reveal deeper issues like stress or troubles with relationships.
It took a while, but I eventually came to realise that my unhappiness with my body was a proxy for my unhappiness with other things in life. In fact, how much I liked or disliked my body changed in tandem with exciting, confusing or stressful situations I was facing at the time. My body was never the root cause of my problems, so why should it take the brunt of my frustration?
If you feel that body image makes up a big part of how you see yourself, you need to know then that conversely, the feelings induced by other things in your life will influence your body image too. Both self-perception and body image are highly subjective, and perhaps not always to be trusted. This is why I think detaching self-worth from body image is extremely important, which leads us to the next quote:
3. The one about body neutrality
“I don’t need you to fall in love with your body, I want you to fall in love with your life.”
— Post from @jennifer_rollin
I can’t tell you how much I love this quote; it so aptly captures the essence of body neutrality – the idea that you accept your body as it is, knowing that you can live a fulfilling life regardless of what your body looks like at any stage.
While body positivity encourages us to appreciate all body sizes and shapes, it can sometimes be unhelpful because ultimately, we are still associating self-perception (although, in this case, a “positive one”) with body image. On the other hand, body neutrality gently directs our attention away from the body, focusing instead on the more meaningful aspects of life: your passions and dreams, the people you love, the adventures you want to go on…
Body neutrality is an extremely useful practice because it also works the other way: we realise that positive body image isn’t that big of a deal, either; no one really cares if you have a 6- or 8-pack, but they do care if you have a good personality. This mindset further helps weaken the link between self-identity and body image.
We don’t need to have a perfect body to have an amazing life. We don’t need to have a perfect body, PERIOD. We shouldn’t be working towards making ourselves feel incredible about our body, but towards making ourselves feel incredible about life.
Changing your body image and achieving body neutrality isn’t an immediate process. Although it’s largely an internal journey that requires your own effort to challenge problematic thought patterns, you can still make use of external resources to nurture a healthier body image – quotes, books, podcasts… In my opinion, negative body image should not be addressed by changing your physical appearance, as it will only perpetuate a negative relationship with your body; rather, the change should take place in your mind.