At the age of 21, they say you’re supposed to have met the person you’re going to marry. Well, with 6-7 months left, I’d say that statistic is pretty doubtful for me. Especially in the Millennial World of Dating where the average individual is looking for a hookup on Tinder over a committed relationship. But, with the 50+ dates I’ve gone on, I do have to say I have learned something from each one.
Photo credits via Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash
Thank you to Date Number One for not holding my hand in public. You helped me realize that if a guy is afraid to show me off in his world, that he doesn’t deserve to be the center of mine.
Thank you for only talking to me past 10pm. I knew that even if I texted you first, you would wait to respond until you were alone. Wanting reassurance from the person I’m dating should be automatic, not forced.
Thank you for telling me not to wear that outfit out with my friends. There’s a difference between giving an opinion and demanding one. If I ask your advice, then I value your word, but don’t make me feel ashamed for going out in something I feel confident in. Oh, and PS, I wore it, anyway.
Thank you to Date Number 6 for taking me out for Chinese food. I will always remember how you insisted we split the bill, so you could have enough money to buy a new pack of cigarettes for the car ride home. It’s a shame that was the closest butt you got to with me.
Thank you for checking my phone when you thought I was asleep… I never was. If a man is insecure enough in our relationship that he has to slyly check my phone, he doesn’t trust me. Don’t allow past relationships to define your current one. Every relationship deserves a clean slate.
Thank you to Date Number 19 for ghosting me. I spent weeks going back through our messages wondering what I did wrong. And then I realized that I should thank you. Any guy that drops a woman and pretends she never existed is a boy, not a man. Sometimes relationships end for an unknown reason and I had to see this as a blessing, rather than a curse.
Thank you to Date Number 24 for cheating on me. Even though you hurt me the most, you taught me to forgive. We all make mistakes and we’ve all done something we are not proud of. I hope you treat this new girl with more respect than you ever did me. She doesn’t deserve to suffer the same fate, so I pray that for her sake, you’ve made yourself a better man.
Thank you for breaking my heart. You made me realize that I don’t need a man to make me happy. If I am surrounded by people that love and support me, then I’ve got all that I need. Happiness is a mindset and I won’t let anyone take control of it, especially you.
Thank you to Date Number 37 for making me lie to my friends and family. You changed me into someone I never wanted to become. You twisted their words and put my friends against me. But, when I needed them the most, even if they were upset with me, they were there and you were nowhere in sight.
Thank you for keeping me from going out to that party. It took me 3 minutes to realize a guy who won’t allow me to have fun with my friends isn’t the guy for me. It took me an additional 3 minutes to get up, change and walk out the door to meet up with them.
Thank you to Date Number 50 for being the perfect guy, but not the perfect guy for me. You treated me right, showed me all of your love and attention and loved me with all that you had, but I couldn’t see anything long term with us. Thank you for showing me that not all guys are the same. You taught me the most important lesson: there is someone out there for you and me. And although we may both be waiting for quite some time, you can’t rush perfection. Whenever they come into our lives, we’ll know why things never made sense between us.
Photo credits via Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
To all of the men I’ve dated, thank you for coming into my life and molding me into the person I am today.