“I will love you without a single string attached.”
Welcome to week three of Enneagram and You with Taylor! This week we’ll be covering Enneagram Type Two, also known as ‘The Helper’. During this article, I’ll be covering the basics of a healthy type two as well as an unhealthy type two. I’ll be keeping the logistics simple as usual because it can turn into information overload. I’ll also include tips to help bring out the best of your type, book, and song suggestions, along with encouraging lock screens and gear made for your type two self! With that being said, let’s jump in.
Type Twos, aka The Helpers, are known for being extremely empathetic. In most situations, type twos are very friendly and self-sacrificing to other’s needs. They strive to please people, thinking that this is how they obtain the greatest love from an individual. A type two-person is driven to be close to others, but this trait can come with problems with possessiveness in others. The basic fear for a type two is simply being unwanted, which comes hand in hand with their number one desire, to feel loved.
With a Type Two, there is the possibility of being a Type Two with a Wing One or a Type Two with a Wing Three. With a 2w1, the basic fear is being unwanted by the ones that they love. Most 2w1’s try to take on a caretaker role to their friends and spouses to push away the feelings of unwantedness. Now, a 2w3 the fear of being worthless is there in a different sense. To avoid the feeling of worthlessness, 2w3’s build connections and try making a difference in their communities. The basic desire meets the same with a wing one as it does with a wing two, to be loved as well as accepted.
A few examples of well-known type twos are Stevie Wonder, Eleanor Roosevelt, Paula Abdul, Priscilla Presley and the queen herself, Dolly Parton.
Type Twos aka The Helper do exactly what they’re named after. They help people! It’s their goal to take the unhealthy options and issues out of someone’s life and replace it with something good.
Let’s discuss the healthy levels of a Two and the unhealthy levels of a Two. As usual, we’ll start with the healthy versions first.
Healthy Levels
At their best, Type Twos show absolute unconditional love to their self and others. They’re extremely unselfish and humble. With the want to show everyone the outmost love they can, Twos are very encouraging to others. Constantly reminding their peers of how well they’re doing. Not only do they appreciate the good in others, they can appreciate the bad as well. A healthy two at their best is all around nurturing and giving. They’re loving as can be and genuinely some of the best people to keep around.
Am I a little biased because my best friend is a two? Maybe. Is she rad? Absolutely.
Average Levels
Last week, I didn’t add in the average levels of Type Ones. Though I feel like it’s more beneficial to all of the types if you see that you’re in this average section. If you realize you’re here, you can work to get to the better version of yourself and make sure you’re not allowing yourself to dip down into the lower ones. Now, let’s discuss.
The average levels of a two want to be closer to people. They take their people-pleasing a little too far in becoming overly friendly, especially to the ones they’re already close with. They’re still full of good intentions, though. Type Twos in this stage become overly intimate and intrusive. They need to be needed, therefore the way for them to do this is to hover. DISCLAIMER: Type Twos, do not use this an excuse to hover. This is 110% something you can work on and grow from. When a two reaches this side of average, closer to the beginning of unhealthy levels, they tend to give seductive attention. They begin to over compliment someone, give approval in how others do things as if they’re children and overall become very overbearing.
Unhealthy Levels
At their unhealthiest levels, Twos become manipulative. They use their ability to inflict guilt by telling others how much they owe them and make people fall into situations to make them feel as if they need to project sympathy onto a type two. At this level, they become extremely self-deprecating and begin to notice how selfish their behavior is. Twos excuse their actions since they feel abused by others. This leads to bitter behaviors and a lot of anger. Therefore if you notice this in any of your behavior, let’s try to change that! For the better of course.
Going through your personal levels can feel like a major attack. Like I stated previously when I first went through my levels – I became critical about what I did and how I did it. The purpose of this series is not for that. Its purpose is to pinpoint where you’re at in life, and how to simply better yourself. The journey can be tough, but the satisfaction of being the best you can be is absolutely amazing. You’ll thrive!
Now, let’s talk about what can help you get to a better place.
Grab your readers.
You can read these at night before bed, in the morning with your coffee (my personal favorite) or whenever you need a pick me up throughout the day.
- Self-Love Experiment by Shannon Kaiser
- Love Yourself First by Marc Reklau
- Boundaries by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend
- How To Say No by Steven Hopkins
- The Subtitle Art by Mark Manson
- Living Beyond Your Feelings by Joyce Meyer
Turn the volume UP!
Music is a major key factor in my everyday life, especially when I’m struggling. Or when I’m not! You cannot go wrong with some tunes to make your day better.
- Atlas: Two by Sleeping At Last (This is the song written for your type directly. warning, it will attack you, but it’s crazy how it hits home.)
- Gravity by Sara Bareilles
- Call If You Need Me by Vance Joy
- The Way I Am by Ingrid Michaelson
- Someone To You by BANNERS
- Fix You by Coldplay
- Smoke And Mirrors By Shoshana Bean
- Burning by Maggie Rogers
- I Guess I Just Feel Like by John Mayer
- Bad Habit by Ben Platt
- Stand By You by Rachel Platten
- Light On by Maggie Rogers
Small Reminders.
The first thing most people see in the morning? Their lock screens! Jazz up your phone with these encouraging reminders. If you’re feeling crafty, you can create fun prints for home décor based off of these!
I think one of the most exciting things about finding your type out, minus the major fact of figuring your personality type, is finding new gear and décor to spice up your life! (Please tell me you got that reference.)
Gear and More!
Coffee Mugs:
Home Décor
Fun Stuff
- Enamel Pin
- Enneagram 2 Spiral Notebook (I highly suggest this. It’s a good way to express the feelings you can only get out on paper.)
- ‘The Helper’ Shirt
Like last time, I’ll be recommending ‘The Sleeping At Last podcast’ over Enneagram Type Two. During this podcast, Ryan O’Neal, singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist of Sleeping At Last, will breakdown the song he personally wrote for type twos. Not only this, but enneagram master Chris Heuertz will also give you a deep understanding of your type. Will it feel like a personal attack at times? Probably. Though it’s only to show you where you get your mannerisms from. It’s such a fun and interesting listen.
With that, I’ll leave you this week. Please continue to dive more and more into your type, as well as spread the word with your friends and family! Learning more about the people in your everyday life really helps build stronger relationships and gives you insight on how to handle situations with others.
Remember you are so loved by everyone around you! We appreciate you for you, not just what you do for others.
Until the next week, go forth and conquer!