It is very easy to get wrapped up in what society tells us about being in a relationship. Everywhere there are books about romantic relationships, billboards about dating websites, even ads trying to get singles to find “The One”. This gives a perception that being in a relationship, getting married and starting a family is the normal path. It seems almost like a cruel joke to be single at 25 and be more focused on your career or school than a guy.
Back in our grandparent’s time, it was normal to get married at a super young age and start a family. Our parents were of the free-spirited generation, and so they did not conform to the social norms and subsequently started having relationships and families much later than their parents. As for our generation, we have shifted away from those norms, but there is still that feeling of wanting to settle down with someone and settle down.
Being in my early 20s, I already have friends getting boyfriends/girlfriends, getting engaged, getting married and having a baby. It makes me feel like I still have so much to catch up on because I am being left behind. There is this constant nagging feeling that I have to find a guy to be in a relationship with. However, this perception of my friends having happily ever after is not what it always seems.
It may seem like all your friends are entering into the very next phase of their lives way before you, but a lot of these relationships don’t work out like how they should, and eventually, your friends may even start wondering why they got into a relationship in the first place. It’s almost like the phrase that when you are in a relationship you only see happy singles, but when you are single you only see happy couples.
As a result of this thinking, I have learned that it is not so bad to wait for the right one to come along because there is no shame in waiting. It is important that you learn to put yourself first, and that love should come later when you are ready. So while you are figuring this out, you might as well enjoy being single. Here are a few ways to do just that:
1. Be Spontaneous
This is probably one of the only times in life where you can have those days of saying “F*** it. I’m going out.” You can run away from your responsibilities and it feels great.
2. Travel
Do you have any idea how expensive it can be to travel? Because it is not cheap at all. But while you are still single, you have the opportunity to explore and do things on your own and make memories for yourself.
3. Work hard, play hard and reflect on it all in-between
It is best to focus on yourself and your accomplishments. Your only responsibility is to focus on yourself.
4.Learn to be okay alone
It is okay to be single. Love when you are ready and not when you are lonely. Besides the longer you wait, the better quality person you will find.
5. Figure out what values fit with your lifestyle because it is important to find a partner who values the same things you do.
6. When you get into bed, lay on it starfish-style because once you find someone you’ll only have one side.
7. Be happy with the freedom you have to make decisions on whatever you want.
If you want to spend $200.00 on a purse, go for it because no one is stopping you. The second you tie yourself down those purchases become far and few in between.
8. Stay out late and sleep in for as long as you want–who is going to judge you?
9. Be a “yes” person
There are so many opportunities out there. Do not let something pass up.
10. As cliché as it may be, do not look for love
It will only become a distraction for what you should be enjoying now. Love will happen and you can’t force it.
One day you will find love and start a family. It is better to sit down 20 years from now and tell your children about all your adventures and accomplishments instead of despair in trying to find love. They will want to know how you truly lived instead of hearing about how you ate ice cream and cried over a fictitious guy. Love is patient, and although I am not one for patience, I know that there will come a time when the right one will walk into my life when I am not expecting it, and it will be awesome.