“Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others” ~Fyodor Dostoevsky
For some reason, this quote fits like a perfect description to our society nowadays. People fake. What? Yup, you heard me. We all fake. We fake so bad that we tend to fake ourselves even more than we can comprehend. Be it to avoid discomfort of reality, to avoid societal judgements on our opinions and beliefs, maybe to simply fit in or to simply justify something we cannot otherwise because we know it’s unjustified. There can be many reasons, but the truth stays. We are all but a society full of self-deception.
But I would like to ask, why? In fact, who exactly is responsible for all this facade? Why should any of us ever put up with all this? What good has it done to us? Has it really helped us fit in so well? Has it made us feel like we belong somewhere just because we can lie well about it? No matter how much you lie, a lie will remain a lie. It’s not you. And it’s not that you can lie forever. At some point, you are either gonna believe your lies, forget about your own desires and just seek more ways to lie just to keep the facade up and the pretend life going or simply break under the weight of it all. But is it really worth it? Who are we doing it for? Okay let me ask you this. Ever wondered that you are actually ruining your life instead of making it?
I don’t know about you but in my case, I am not much of a people’s person. I like smaller, meaningful relations over a ton of them with no meaning or depth whatsoever. And thus whenever any of them isn’t around, the only one that remains with me is me, myself. And let me tell you nobody, absolutely nobody knows you in this world more than you yourself. And when you lose yourself, you become like that meaningless word in a dictionary which of course, doesn’t exist. You lose your meaning, your own self just to get along with others , just to justify it all, just to feel that little content you know won’t last long.
Think about it, is it really worth enough to lose yourself for? And let me tell you, once you completely give yourself in to this vicious cycle, it’s nearly impossible to break free. You become entirely dependent on it, and when it finally collapses? You’re left with nothing, not even yourself. Those addictions you follow, thinking you will be fine, because you believe you can stop anytime, but deep down, you know you struggle to. The people you tolerate, hoping things will get better someday. The extra marks, promotions, or titles you chase, believing they will bring happiness, only to realize they won’t. Every single one of those times you repeated to yourself “I should be grateful” for your current situation instead of admitting the fact that you aren’t fine or satisfied with it, or all those times you say how it’s too late to change and how you cant help your problems by working hard, these things will never ever be fine and you will never be able to get above this mess unless you finally decide to stand up and face your inner feelings and truths which you already know but don’t want to believe. You need to understand that none of this will matter at the end of day when you will be left with nothing but yourself like everyone else. Learn to embrace your feelings, your thoughts and your emotions and learn to appreciate yourself for you. None of us need to be perfect for anyone else to accept us. And none of those things will matter as long as we realise that our happiness is an internal thing which can never ever be fully satisfied by any of those external things. What isn’t fine to us from start will never ever be fine with us no matter how much we pretend about it. Don’t fight it, but embrace it for it’s these little things that keep us in touch with what’s inside us. It’s what sets us apart from many others. Because our feelings, our desires and our emotions are our own, not anyone else’s and nobody else can ever give us any solution for them. We need to seek that for ourselves. And the best way to be truly happy and satisfied is to embrace your inner self regardless of how much it sits well with the rest of the world. The world will keep on changing, but that doesn’t mean you need to change with it every time, no matter how much the world demands it. So pick yourself up, stop lying to yourself and let those people who wanna judge you judge, let those who wanna leave you leave and let those who wanna be disappointed in you stay disappointed so long as you know that it’s your real self and you are content with who you are and what you are doing. Be yourself for it’s the hardest thing to do in today’s world… and also one of the most precious things you can ever lose.
“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” ~Albert Camus
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