Once upon a time in a land of Barbie dolls and Beyblades, a little girl dribbled her dreams through a court full of expectations. Spoiler alert: that girl was me. While the world shoved me towards pirouettes and pink tutus, I had my eyes on something with a little more bounce- basketball. Not exactly the dream my mom had cooked up for their little princess who should’ve danced, but hey, what’s life without a plot twist?
I wasn’t some sports prodigy; I was just a girl who loved the sound of sneakers squeaking against the court, the swish of a well-aimed shot and the adrenaline rush of a game well played. But if you’ve ever been a girl in a boys’ world, you already know the drill- side-eyes from the ‘cool’ boys, patronising claps when you make a shot, and the ever-persistent whispers of “shouldn’t you be in dance class?” As if my dreams had a gender.
Spoiler alert: They don’t.
But no matter how hard I hustled, reality had a full-court press on me. Every family gathering came with a side of “What do you really want to do?” Like my ambitions were some IKEA furniture piece missing half its screws.
And let me tell you, playing defence both on and off the court? Exhausting.
Fast forward to the grand ‘career’ chapter of my life and my “love” for breaking stereotypes didn’t clock out. While my heart had moodboards filled with sketches, mood lighting, and design inspirations, society had other plans. Enter: Tech.
Like Father, Like Daughter?
For as long as I can remember, I was my dad’s carbon copy. A real-life Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V situation. Not just in the way I looked- though trust me, if you saw our childhood pictures side by side, you’d think I was a glitch in the matrix- but in everything else too.
He was my blueprint for life.
Music? His taste was my taste. Old-school rock, band tunes, soulful classics- I grew up on them. None of that kids’ music nonsense for me; I was humming along to songs from his days before I could even spell my own name properly.
Studies? I wanted to be just like him. He was disciplined, razor-sharp, always ten steps ahead of everyone else. Naturally, I absorbed every bit of his work ethic like a sponge, thinking that if I could just be as smart, as focused, as unstoppable as him, I’d be set for life.
Sports? Oh, you already know. While other kids were doing the whole “mumma-mumma” routine, I was out on the field, playing every sport he introduced me to. He didn’t raise me like a delicate little flower- he raised me like an athlete, a fighter, someone who could hold her own against any challenge thrown her way. If he played a sport, I played it too. If he aced something, I wanted to ace it harder.
Fashion? Pfft. I mostly wanted to dress like a mini version of him. Not because I was forced to, but because I wanted to. I wanted to be him. The way he carried himself, the confidence in his stride, the way he commanded respect without even trying- I wanted that.
And for the longest time, I thought I had it all figured out. I thought we were a team, an unbreakable duo. He was my biggest influence, my role model, my everything. If I followed in his footsteps, if I shaped my life the way he did his, then success, happiness, and stability were guaranteed, right?
Turns out, I was only right until it was time to choose my future.
Plot Twist: The Dream Gets Denied
I had spent my whole life mirroring my dad, absorbing his lessons, internalising his values. So, when the time came to decide my career, I thought, Okay, I won’t fight for the creative path if that’s what everyone’s so against. Fine. But at least I can choose my other passion- Astrophysics.
It wasn’t just a random interest. I loved physics, loved the way the universe worked and loved the idea of unraveling cosmic mysteries. If I couldn’t go into design, at least I could chase the stars. And honestly? It felt like the perfect middle ground- something intellectual, something deeply scientific, something I was genuinely excited about.
And then, just like that, NO.
Not a discussion. Not a debate. Just a solid, impenetrable no from the very man I had spent my entire life looking up to. At first, I thought, Alright, maybe he just doesn’t get it yet. Maybe he thinks it’s not practical enough. Let me explain.
So I did. I told him how much I loved stars, how I wanted to do BSc in Physics and maybe even specialise later. But guess what? “BSc is outdated.” Okay. Cool. Maybe Mechanical Engineering then? “That’s for boys.” Alright. Aerospace Engineering? Another ‘for boys’ stamp.
And suddenly, the same man who had raised me to be strong, independent and fearless was the one putting barriers around my dreams. The same man who had taught me to never back down was now telling me to shrink myself to fit into a box that he deemed suitable. The same man who had made me believe I could do anything was now the reason I couldn’t.
And the worst part? It wasn’t just about physics. It was the gut-wrenching realisation that no matter how much I loved him, no matter how much I admired him, his belief in me had conditions.
The Silent Heartbreak of Realising Your Hero Isn’t Perfect
You know what’s funny? If some random uncle at a wedding had told me physics wasn’t for girls, I would’ve rolled my eyes and walked away. If some teacher had tried to convince me that “majdoor wali” engineering was a man’s world, I would’ve fought them on it. But when it came from him? The man I had shaped my entire life around?
It hurt. Like, really, really hurt.
I wasn’t expecting blind approval. I wasn’t expecting him to love my choice. But I had spent my whole life being raised like him, being taught to be strong like him, only to find out that when it actually mattered, I wasn’t allowed to be like him.
The Aftermath: Rebuilding My Own Identity
I won’t pretend I immediately got over it. I didn’t wake up the next day all empowered and ready to fight the system. Nah. I was crushed. Confused. Angry.
For years, I had built my identity around being his reflection, but when the mirror shattered, I didn’t know who I was without it.
But you know what? As painful as it was, it also forced me to do something I had never really done before- build an identity that was mine, not his.
It took time, a lot of frustration, and even more self-reflection. But eventually, I realised:
- I don’t have to be like him to be strong. I can admire him without having to live his life. I mean, I’m not joining the armed forces anyways.
- I can love someone deeply and still recognise their flaws. Just because he is my hero doesn’t mean he was always right.
- His limits don’t have to be mine. Just because he didn’t see a future for me in physics didn’t mean I couldn’t find one myself.
And most importantly? I am allowed to dream my own dreams.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a good gadget and I can hold my own in a game of code vs. brain meltdown, but did I want to build my life around it? Not exactly. I was a BDes or BSc girly at heart, but somehow, my future had been formatted into a life of algorithms and debugging sessions. My dreams had been Ctrl+Alt+Deleted before I even got the chance to save the draft.
When I said I wanted to do design, the collective gasp from my family was loud enough to shatter glass.
“Beta, arts is for people who don’t get good marks.”
“Creative fields are too unstable.”
And my personal favourite, “What will you even do with a design degree? Make drawings?”
Bro, if I had a dollar for every time someone belittled my passion, I’d have enough to start my own fashion empire by now. But no, I was pushed towards the ‘safe’ option. The ‘stable’ one. The one that felt like a pair of shoes two sizes too small- doable, but painful. And the worst part? This isn’t even a niche trauma. It’s practically a rite of passage for so many of us.
The world loves telling girls to dream big, but only if those dreams fit inside neat little boxes. Want to be a doctor, engineer, or lawyer? Fantastic. Want to create, design, or- God forbid- pursue sports? Suddenly, everyone’s inner career counsellor is awakened, and they’ve got charts, research and unsolicited opinions at the ready.
So, what happens when you’re stuck living a life someone else designed for you? You become an unintentional actor in a show you never auditioned for. You play the part, hit your marks, deliver your lines, but deep down, you know this script isn’t yours. And let me tell you, the audience can tell when the lead isn’t feeling it.
For a long time, I tried to make it work. I told myself I could learn to love the field I was in. Maybe passion could be developed like a muscle- work it enough times, and it’ll get stronger. But dreams don’t work that way. They’re not something you can force-feed yourself until they taste right. If you have to convince yourself every day to love something, odds are, it’s not meant for you.
The Unwritten Rule Book of Girlhood
From the moment we’re born, the world loves to hand us a rulebook we never asked for. It’s got all the classics: Wear pink. Play nice. Be delicate. Choose safety over dreams.
And like a game we never signed up to play, the moment we dare to step outside these invisible boundaries, alarms start blaring. “That’s not for girls.” “It’s just a phase.” “You’ll regret this later.” You don’t even need to be doing something particularly rebellious- just existing outside the socially accepted mould is enough to send people into a frenzy.
For generations, women have had to fight for the right to dream freely. From being denied education to being laughed out of boardrooms, the struggle to be taken seriously is older than the concept of careers themselves. But what makes it worse is that this battle doesn’t just happen on a grand scale- it happens in living rooms, classrooms and every casual conversation where a girl’s dream is dismissed before she even gets a chance to try.
So, I did what any rebellious, dream-clutching girl would do- I refused to let go. If I had to navigate this tech world, I was going to do it my way. I infused creativity into my work, dabbled in content creation, and found little pockets of joy amidst the rigid lines of code. And slowly, I carved out a space where both sides of me- the structured and the artistic- could coexist. I won’t lie, the journey hasn’t been easy. Every day feels like an uphill battle against expectations, societal norms AND my own doubts. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that:
Dreams are like glitter- impossible to get rid of, no matter how hard you try. They’ll stick to you in the most unexpected ways, appearing in corners you never thought to look.
And to every girl out there who’s been told she’s ‘too much’ or ‘not enough,’ who’s been boxed in, redirected, or outright dismissed- this is your sign to keep pushing. You don’t have to choose between being a girly girl and chasing ‘boyish’ dreams. You don’t have to pick between stability and passion. You can have it all. And if the world says otherwise? Well, let’s just say, I’ve never been great at following the rules anyway.
Dreams With a Gender Tag
It’s wild how society has assigned gender labels to ambitions. If a little boy says he wants to be a dancer, people hesitate. If a little girl says she wants to be a footballer, they hesitate even more. As if passion needs to come with a gender filter.
Even today, some dreams are considered more “appropriate” for women- teaching, nursing, baking, social work. Now, don’t get me wrong, these careers are just as important and respectable, but why is it that the moment a girl dreams of becoming an athlete, a scientist, a filmmaker, or a pilot, everyone suddenly gets their PhD in Career Advice 101?
The response is almost always the same:
- “That’s just a hobby, not a career.”
- “There’s no stability in that.”
- “Girls don’t do that.”
- “It’s too difficult; why don’t you choose something easier?”
Oh, and the cherry on top: “You’ll understand when you grow up.”
Ah, yes, the age-old assumption that women are incapable of making decisions about their own lives. If growing up means giving up on dreams to fit into society’s idea of what’s “acceptable,” then no thanks, I’d rather stay young forever.
The Cost of Compromise
The thing is, when you spend your entire life being told that your dreams are too unrealistic, too difficult, or just too much, you start to believe it. You shrink your ambitions to make them more digestible for others. You adjust your goals to fit a version of yourself that’s more “acceptable.” You trade in your passions for practicality because that’s what’s expected.
And before you know it, you wake up one day and realise you’re living someone else’s dream.
Millions of women go through this. They give up on the things that set their souls on fire just because society told them it wasn’t “the right choice.” They choose the “safe” path, only to feel unfulfilled, stuck, and lost. And let’s be honest- there’s nothing safe about spending your life wondering “what if.”
The Stability Scam
One of the biggest lies women are told is that creative or unconventional careers aren’t “stable.” But let’s break that down for a second.
The world is changing faster than ever. Job markets are shifting, industries are evolving, and what was considered a stable career a decade ago isn’t necessarily a guarantee today. So why is it that a girl choosing art or fashion is met with concern, but a boy choosing engineering is met with applause? The reality is, no career is ever truly “safe”- but at least when you follow your passion, you’re actually happy while doing it.
Plus, let’s not forget that some of the highest-paid and most influential people today are in creative fields. Filmmakers, designers, musicians, athletes, entrepreneurs- these are all people who refused to let the world scare them into mediocrity. They took risks, and those risks paid off.
Women deserve that same chance. They deserve to pursue careers that make them excited to wake up in the morning. They deserve to be supported, not doubted.
Redefining Success
The idea of success has long been tied to money, status, and security. And while those things are great, they shouldn’t come at the cost of joy, passion, and personal fulfillment.
A successful life isn’t just one where you’re financially stable- it’s one where you feel alive. It’s one where you don’t wake up dreading your work. It’s one where you get to create, innovate, and push boundaries in ways that make your heart race in the best way possible.
For some, that might be in finance or medicine. For others, it might be in fashion, music, or sports. Neither path is better than the other- it just has to be right for YOU.
The Future is Ours to Shape
The good news? Things are changing. Women are pushing back, reclaiming their dreams, and proving every doubter wrong. The rise of female entrepreneurs, athletes, scientists, and creators is proof that girls are done asking for permission.
But we still have a long way to go. Society still loves to box women in, tell them what they should do, and clip their wings before they even get a chance to fly. That’s why every girl who chooses to chase her dream- despite the doubts, the side-eyes, and the unsolicited advice- is already breaking barriers.
Every time a girl picks up a basketball instead of a ballet slipper, pursues art instead of accounting, or chooses passion over practicality, she’s rewriting the script for future generations.
To Every Girl With a Dream…
If you’ve ever been told your dreams are too much, if you’ve ever been made to feel like you need to tone it down, if you’ve ever had to fight just to be taken seriously—this is your sign to keep going. Your dreams are valid. Your ambitions matter. You don’t need permission to go after what you want.
Because at the end of the day, girls don’t just want to have fun- we want to have dreams. And it’s about damn time the world lets us chase them.
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