Ah yes, the classic accusation. You say you’re a feminist, and someone, somewhere, inevitably goes, “So you hate men?” As if feminism is a secret cult where we wake up, drink iced coffee, and plot the downfall of the male species between Pilates and pay gap discussions.
Let’s be clear: feminism is not man-hating. If anything, it’s people-hating to believe that equality should be threatening. Feminism, at its core, just says: hey, maybe everyone deserves rights, safety, and basic respect regardless of gender.Shocking, I know. The fact that this still sounds radical tells you everything about how allergic society is to equality when it doesn’t benefit them directly.
The myth of the “angry man-hating feminist” was a PR stunt by patriarchy itself, and honestly, kudos to them for the long game. It’s the same logic as calling someone “too emotional” when they’re just correct. Women weren’t burning bras out of hatred; they were burning the system that made them choose between freedom and femininity.
And newsflash: feminism has never been anti-men. It’s anti-patriarchy, which, plot twist, hurts men too. Patriarchy tells men not to cry, not to rest, not to feel. It cages everyone, just in different fonts. Feminism says, “Mate, you’re allowed to feel human.” If that’s hatred, then empathy’s illegal now.
So no, feminism isn’t about flipping the power dynamic. It’s about flattening it. It’s not “we hate men.” It’s “we hate the systems that convince men they have to be better than us to matter.”
Equality doesn’t mean opposition.
Somehow, in the chaotic game of Chinese Whispers, “equality” got translated into “revenge.” People hear “feminist” and immediately think of a Twitter thread about hating boyfriends, when in reality, feminism is about balance, not blame.
Let’s get academic for a second (but like, cool academic): feminism is the belief that all genders deserve equal political, social, and economic rights. It’s that simple. No secret agenda. No fine print. No initiation ceremony where you have to swear off men and buy combat boots.
When people say “but what about men’s rights,” feminists literally say “yes.” Because that’s part of it. Equal rights include men. That’s the beauty of it. Feminism doesn’t want to replace patriarchy with matriarchy because we’re not swapping oppressors; we’re ending oppression altogether.
But let’s not sugarcoat it. Feminism is uncomfortable, especially if you’ve benefited from inequality. That’s why people call it man-hating: it’s easier to villainise women than to face the fact that the system has been rigged in your favour for centuries. You can either confront your privilege or call it an attack. Most people choose comfort.
And yet, every time a woman gets a promotion, a man takes paternity leave, or someone finally calls out locker room talk: feminism wins a little. Not because it hates men, but because it frees them. Equality isn’t a threat. It’s a collaboration.
Intersectionality: the feminism upgrade pack.
Alright, so now that we’ve cleared up the basics, let’s talk about intersectional feminism. The term was coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw, and it basically says, “Hey, not all women experience oppression the same way.” Revolutionary, right?
Intersectionality recognises that gender doesn’t exist in isolation. Race, class, sexuality, disability, religion, all of these overlap to shape how someone experiences discrimination. A white woman fighting for equal pay doesn’t face the same barriers as a Dalit woman fighting for safety. A queer man navigating masculinity experiences patriarchy differently than a straight man does.
So if your feminism only serves one kind of woman, it’s not feminism, it’s brand marketing. Real feminism understands nuance. It doesn’t just say “all women matter”; it asks, “which women are we not listening to?” It demands inclusion, not aesthetics.
Intersectional feminism is the upgrade pack to the original. It’s feminism with context. It’s the difference between “girlboss” empowerment and systemic change. Because it’s not feminism if it doesn’t include trans women, disabled women, women of colour, queer women, and working-class women. Equality without intersectionality is just privilege with a new label.
Feminism saves everyone.
Here’s the mic-drop moment: feminism benefits men, too. It gives them permission to cry, to stay home with their kids without judgment, to not have to be the breadwinner or the superhero 24/7. It dismantles toxic masculinity, not men, and says, “You can be soft, and you’ll still be strong.”
Because patriarchy doesn’t just police women. It polices everyone. It tells men that affection is weakness, that therapy is cringe, that the only emotion allowed is anger. Feminism says, “No thanks. You can be whole.”
The world we’re fighting for isn’t anti-anyone. It’s not women versus men; it’s everyone versus oppression. It’s the understanding that the only way we all win is if no one’s power depends on someone else’s pain.
So yeah, if believing in equal rights, consent, bodily autonomy, representation, and emotional literacy makes me a man-hater, then fine. I’ll take that crown and bedazzle it. But spoiler: feminism isn’t a war on men. It’s a war on injustice.
And when equality finally arrives, when women walk freely, men feel deeply, and no one has to apologise for existing, no one will be left out of that victory.
Because feminism was never about hate. It’s always been about healing.
Want more words that hug, slap, educate, and entertain in the same paragraph? Her Campus at MUJ has a seat saved for you. Written by Niamat Dhillon at HCMUJ, the feminist your uncle warned you about.